Former glory

Cry for father's hands
No more following orders
Fruitless rebellion


He can't hear you now
The shaking stops, but the brain
Only knows fight / flight


I'd never hurt you
You have to believe me, dad
Listen through the fog


Find yourself in dark
Through alarm, fatigue and drugs
I'll stand by the light


I hold memories
Of precision and labour
Your former glory

High Horse Audit 2015: The Best and Worst of the Year

For a long time I thought I wouldn't write a "Game of the Year" post for 2015 because it seemed pretty redundant, given that most of my free time in 2015 was spent playing Destiny. After spending the first few weeks of a new year playing games from the last one, however, I've gained the perspective to put together a list of my favourite experiences from last year. I also had time to reflect on the worst of it.

The Janet Jackson Award: Destiny (Year One)
For the second year running, I've found it necessary to acknowledge the game that most effectively said Come Back To Me a year on from release. 

On my main character alone, I've amassed more than 21 actual days of play time in Destiny. If I took my alternate characters into account, I'm pretty sure I'd come depressingly close to a month of play time on the shooter MMO hybrid.

This hasn't been addiction, or a force of habit; throughout a year of play I became increasingly confident, and took on all the challenges that Destiny's first year had to offer. The House of Wolves expansion was pivotal in that it gave me that little bit of extra strength to take on the most intimidating activities that, in some cases, had been available not long after launch.

Without those extra four levels of experience (and gear), I wouldn't have been able to fell Crota, nor would I have been able to tackle Skolas, or Atheon on Hard mode. The raids, and higher level Prison of Elders runs made up a weekly ritual that I was anxious to complete for months on end. So rehearsed were my movements that I could even finish raids remote playing on a Vita; without a headset, no less!

I didn't make many new friends in Destiny's first year, but my word did I develop a throng of acquaintances. Some were terrible human beings, some were genuine fun to hang with for an hour or so a week. For every racist American teen decrying Obamacare, there four or five genuinely nice people who were praying just as hard as I was. Until the launch of The Taken King, RNGeezus answered almost all of my prayers too.

Destiny rewarded my loyalty with everything I wanted, except for Praedyth's Timepiece.

The Most Disappointing Game of the Year: Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain
Metal Gear Solid V features the most fluid controls the series has ever iterated, and for the first time, it had something resembling a coherent narrative. For those reasons alone, I had next to no interest in it.

Put another way: Metal Gear Solid V is a great game, but a terrible Metal Gear Solid instalment.

Save for the first hour, gone are the ridiculously long codec conversations, paranoid political fantasies, and David Hayter. Snake's voice is noticeably absent, not because Keifer Sutherland is a feeble replacement, rather because he's an absent replacement.

It's telling that I haven't finished this game. More telling that I don't want to. The first few hours were packed with thrilling stealth and recon encounters, but following that, I found it grating how often I had to capture the same outposts, and extract the same, albeit slightly stronger combatants.

The formula that first appeared in the PSP's best game, Metal Gear Solid: Peace Walker, doesn't work on home consoles because of the large sandbox environments. Peace Walker put you right where you needed to be, Phantom Pain made you grind from point to point. I can tell Phantom Pain was rushed to market without even having completed it.

Keep on walking, tough guy.

Cibele Review (PC): She's a poet

I was a shit teenager.

Save for a limitless, almost cliched ability to recall classic Simpsons lines, I was humourless. I dressed like Joey Fatone (or X member of Y boy band), but thought I had a unique sense of style and charm. I had frosted tips. I couldn't ride a bicycle, skateboard, or scooter. I couldn't snowboard. I didn't get my learner's permit. (note: still can't do, or don't have those things, so shit adult too?).

One of the most reassuring things about playing Cibele, is the message that pretty much everyone was or is a shit teenager. We are all, in spite of great talent and beauty, hideously insecure. We are (or were) unable to accept the genuine affection of others because we feel undeserving, or unable to let go of the comforts of home... and videogames.

The painful awkwardness of, what was for me, ICQ and Yahoo chat rooms are captured so perfectly in a loving dedication to Final Fantasy XI. A network of friends are pieced together through emails, photos, and chat logs. A cross section of the author's life and desktop are on show for all to see.

The dialogue sounds genuine, and really evokes the nervous energy of [clears throat] matchmaking. The music and sound design make up for the repetitive mock MMO combat. You won't be brought to tears by this tale of first love, but I hope that you, like me, are glad that something like Cibele is out there. It's odd, short and sweet.

Halo 5: Guardians Review (XB1): A retcon for the ages

I am a guy that likes Halo. I am one of millions.\

I wanted to like Halo 5. Really, I did. It's funny then that the game -- as both a package, or when considering the PvE and PVP offerings in relative isolation -- did all it could to dissuade me. Halo 5 hates players, be they series veterans or new players. This is a hostile experience.

So, consider this your spoiler warning. I'm going to talk frankly about why I don't recommend picking up Halo 5, and I plan to talk story.

I'm not someone who deep dives into series lore: I haven't read the veritable library of comics and novels that make up the series' extended universe. For that, I am both punished and thankful. Punished in that I had very little idea of what was happening initially, or why. Thankful in that I haven't invested anything more than what was required for a pretty shitty, nonsensical narrative payoff.

If you're playing alone, you play as Spartan Locke of Fireteam Osiris, that has the task of tracking down Master Chief for some reason; or Master Chief of Blue Team who has gone AWOL for (also) blue, AI lady friend and somehow love interest, Cortana.

Throughout the adventure, there are close calls and run-ins with old friends and foes. These encounters are baffling, in terms of both how they're set up, and how incoherent they are. As Locke, your comrades watch dumbfounded as you engage in fisticuffs with Master Chief. Do they intervene? No. Do Blue Team question why Chief takes them AWOL to follow a seemingly evil warlord? Yes, but only briefly, and in the most laughable way possible. Apparently they've fought together so much that they're like family, so OK let's destroy a mining settlement full of civilians. Wooooooooo!

What's worse is that all of Master Chief's heroics from the first four games are misappropriated in the end. Turns out that instead of saving the galaxy all of those times, you were actually helping stage the villain's master plan. Worse still, the ending is the barest of setups for the inevitable next instalment.

"Are we gonna keep running?"

"Yes, until we're ready."
Fade to black, roll credits. Worst. Ending. Ever. The conclusion made the Halo 2 "Finish the fight," debacle look like a narrative master stroke.

It doesn't help either that the action that holds this mess of a story together is so familiar as to feel redundant. There's another level where you ride a scorpion (read: tank) for an extended period, there's more weapons than you could possibly hope to use, there's lots of situations where you'll flank Covenant and Forerunner forces. To my knowledge there's only one new enemy type: the Warden Eternal. Each time you fight one or more of this boss type thing, you'll find yourself in an arena setting. Every time you can sense a showdown, it's with one or more Wardens.

It's weird that there are no other varieties of boss encounters littered throughout the campaign. I thought for sure that I would've been pitted against a Guardian in some vertical encounter, but nooooOOOOoooo. Just as well too, as the collective intelligence of the friendly AI for both Blue Team and Fireteam Osiris would be hard pressed to solve how one would escape from a wet paper bag. I mean, for fuck's sake, if the voice actors keep saying "We have to shoot him (in this case, Warden Eternal) in the back," but when ordered to attack, move to the front of the enemy and aim for nothing but his mid-section, that is a clear recipe from frustration. I can only imagine how painful some of the later firefights would be on higher difficulties, with your ill-programmed partners spraying bullets any which way but where they need to be.

Insult is added to injury when you realise that split screen co-op is no longer supported. You're on your own if you don't have Halo-loving friends on Xbox Live. To me, split screen is a big part of the Halo brand, and to forsake it for slightly more fluid visuals seems a betrayal; albeit the slightest committed in this particular iteration.

The real tragedy of Halo 5 is the multiplayer.

The Arena playlists take the multiplayer back to something more familiar, when compared to Halo 4. At first, I thought this was a change for the better, but then I realised that I've played this game for hours, days, years already. After grinding out requisition points and experience for about four hours, I felt it was time to move on.

All the old friends are there, but the stories haven't really changed. The Spartan Charge and ground pounding are done better in better games. Halo feels like it's in this weird space where it made the console first person shooter a viable product, but now it can't evolve without noticeably aping competitors.

Even the new Warzone mode borrows from games like Plants Vs Zombies: Garden Warfare, and doesn't feel overly fresh. In fact, it's only fun when you're winning; otherwise it's the worst kind of grind. Performing well increases the level (read: effectiveness) of requisition that players are able to call in, which include power weapons, vehicles and buffs. Better hardware means you're not only more prepared for your human competition, but also the AI enemies which afford generous lots of points to your team. If you're losing, you can still call in reqs, but usually less spectacular ones than those your enemies have command of.

More problematic still is the fact that requisition packs can be bought. Yes, they can be unlocked, slowly, through continuous play, but shelling out anything from 4 to 140 real dollars can make them available faster. While a lot of reqs are cosmetic in nature, there's a troubling proportion of which that can directly impact the result of Warzone matches. This is pay to win, in a game that costs as much as 99 actual dollars depending on how savvy (or not) a shopper you are. That is, as the French say, fucked.

When I spoke with my brother, a Halo tragic, about the virtues of this iteration, he advised that Halo 5 was a good tale if you're prepared to read several novels in preparation. For Halo 5's mess of a story to make any sense, I had to read hundreds of pages of licensed pap. To look how I wanted to in multiplayer I had to grind for about six hours, or just easily drop tens, even hundreds more dollars. No returning characters from ODST, no beautiful graphics, no Nathan Fillion is going to be enough to make that sound like a good deal.

Halo 5 is not a bad game, technically speaking. It's just not a very good one either.

Interstate Love Song

Dearest Carly,

Today we celebrate five years as a married couple. In the best possible way, I can't remember what life was like without you. Without you I imagine I'd be Destiny without an internet connection, Mario without Luigi, a book without a cover.

We've made the most of our move too. What many had called "brave", I simply thought of as common sense. Every year we returned to Melbourne, every year you shed tears as we left the hotel, every year we got to the airport too early. No more. We're finally home, and I feel all the happier for it.

Not to say that this year has been without challenges. I can't forget my troubles at home, even now, having withdrawn almost entirely. You still held me when I cried, when I felt useless, when I felt betrayed. I can never adequately repay you for your care and your patience. 

I'm not sure what the next year will bring. Be it mortgage stress, more responsibility at work, or more of the same, I'm grateful  I get to experience it with you.

I love you.

Tristan

Badgers, art and body horror at Summertime Party

Last night I had the chance to meet up with a Destiny raid bro at Summertime Party, an event which showcased live music, video games and interpretive dance.

The non-nerdy aspects of the evening were pretty cool. Emma Donovan and the Putbacks played a quality set, as did the Sugar Fed Leopards. The DJs, Mz Rizk and Sovereign Trax, also managed to keep a small group of people dancing despite the crowd majority's preference to remain sedentary. I saw two of the dance acts: the first evoked memories of Tom Green's confrontational shame comedy (although I'm sure this was unintentional), while the second was a playfully-violent burlesque dance set to Ginuwine's Pony.

While my fireteam set the dance floor on fire, it was a shame that most of the attendees were keen to mean mug the night away. Still, the tunes were good, and the entertainment was vastly different to my usual Saturday night offerings (read: Destiny).

The video games on display were presented by Freeplay, Australia's longest-running independent games festival.

Push Me Pull You (PMPY) was the clear highlight. Projected high on a wall opposite a staircase where two sets of controls were set up, it was the gladiatorial centre of the night's proceedings. Imagine the listless wonder and mild body horror of the experimental Noby Noby Boy crossed with the excitement of team ball sports (sportsball, if you will). Teams of two must extend, shrink and wrap their way around a ball and drag it back to their side of the court to score. Stretching your collective body can allow you to hold the ball, but a smaller opponent push you to their side for a cheeky score.



The core mechanics are easy to pick up, and mish mash teams formed throughout the evening to try their hands at glory. I'd love to see this game more widely available, and I can even imagine how it would translate from two arcade sticks and four buttons to the ubiquitous console controller. (One player could control both sides of the team with bumpers and triggers used to expand and shrink.)

Would some of the magic be lost going from pair play to mano e mano? Absolutely, but local multiplayer is becoming less and less of a thing. If Halo can no longer support a couch full of players, then incoming indies must also embrace the realities of comparatively-soulless online multiplayer (particularly given PMPY could translate well).



Next up was Artners, a game controlled with a tangle of brushes, paint pots, and pads. Essentially, you have sixty seconds to fulfil a named commission. There's no winning or losing, just creating pictures that will, more often than not, resemble a a train map. I loved the urgency of producing art while the "art time remaining" chipped away. The peripherals were complex, and it's unlikely you'll see this outside of an exhibition setting, but it's well worth picking up a brush for.


Finally, there was Panoramical, reason for the best peripheral since Guitar Hero first graced the PlayStation 2 back in 2005. Using the open-shirted badger controller, you rub the animal's tummy and flick its switches(?) to produce changes in sound and vision. I found the majority of my time with the game disorienting, but a small sojourn to what can only be described as a laser rave planet was pretty cool.

While it was hard to get anything out of it myself, I had a laugh trying to explain how to play to the next group of enthusiastic players. I also feel that Nintendo needs to introduce nipple play to Amiibos or risk losing the whole Toys to Life market.

While the Freeplay offerings may only serve as distraction from my massive multiplayer online face shooting duties, Push Me Pull You is most definitely on my radar. Freeplay's Games in the Square events run through December (6-8pm, on 8, 15 and 22 December) at Melbourne's Federation Square, with PMPY available to play on 15 December. Make sure you check it out if you're in town.

Destiny: The Taken King reviewed: Your loot’s light shines across a hill of content

(Note: This post first appeared on games.on.net. Unfortunately, they're now offline, so I thought I'd save this one too.)

One thing becomes clear when you boot up Destiny following the release of The Taken King: you’re supposed to feel dread. That overwhelming sense of awe and discovery that was inspired by Year One’s theme has taken an ominous turn. The composition that once played while I was in orbit — one of my favourite pieces of video game music — has now been replaced by an arrangement that sounds just that little bit more sinister. There’s a change in mood here that starts with the soundtrack and permeates through the level design.

That being said, the latest chapter of the story has been brought to life by a small, but memorable cast of characters, many of whom had appeared from the beginning but have only now found their voice. Cayde-6, voiced by Firefly and Castle star Nathan Fillion is the primary quest-giver for the fight against Oryx. Fillion doesn’t just provide mission briefings, he’s the star of several cutscenes and also provides colourful mid mission dialogue.

Nolan North of Uncharted fame replaces the unfairly-maligned Peter Dinklage in the role of your Ghost. Both actors turn in stellar performances, and while the script isn’t written to elicit much of an emotional response, the added dramatic flavour makes it that little bit easier to complete a strike, story or patrol mission for the three hundredth time.

Web 2.0

With the arrival of Destiny‘s 2.0 patch, each chapter of the story has now been “questified”. Additionally, the amount of bounty slots (for tasks like ‘Kill 50 enemies with precision damage’) has been increased with the added ability to cash them in on the go. What this should’ve meant was less time travelling to and from the Tower and Reef social spaces; however, quest lines still require players to return, and their touch points crop up just as often as the requirement to turn in bounties in Year One.

If you’re more of a PvP player, this ends up working pretty well. If you’re more inclined to take on AI-controlled opponents, you’ll end up exposed to just as many pretty loading screens as you would have pre-patch. Not a game breaker, but a missed opportunity all the same.

Even after putting in a solid few days of questing, I’m still yet to see all The Taken King has to offer. The main line lasts longer than House of Wolves, and doesn’t rely on lengthy seek and destroy tasks like The Dark Below did. Destiny is getting bigger and better.

New story missions are open to any character at level 25 or greater, meaning that it’s possible to bypass earlier quest lines and move straight on to the more exciting, better-written stuff. While this is great for writers needing to meet a deadline (huehuehue), I imagine it would make a story already infamous for being poorly told all the more confusing. I have a Hunter that I got to level 33 in Year One by equipping high level gear I bought from Xur (the mysterious weekend vendor of all things exotic) and Variks (the warden of the Prison of Elders).

Without even beating the original lot of story missions, I can skip straight to a scene where a key character dies. Without this character, the events of each Year One quest line would make little sense at all, if I were to revisit them.

You’re the one for me

It’s a good thing then that the economy has been overhauled so that it makes playing with one character a viable option. Crucible (PvP) and Vanguard (PvE) marks, forms of in-game currency used to buy high-end gear from various vendors, have now been merged into a single form, Legendary marks. Legendary marks are still subject to caps like their predecessors, but the best gear is found out in the field in The Taken King, and it’s not just found in the new raid.

Rare, legendary, and exotic gear can all be rolled with high enough light scores for players to be able to traverse the end game. Previously, you needed to be able to run the raids (Prison of Elders, and Iron Banner) to have a hope of hitting the light cap, but now it’s been opened up. At first it was disorienting, because as a veteran player my instinct was to rock purple (legendary) and gold (exotic) exclusively. Given time though, my elitism gave way to me actually wanting to progress.

Changing the way players view and treat their equipment will go along way to remedy the old end game conundrum of everyone rocking exactly the same loadout. The Infusion system takes this even further, by allowing players to upgrade lower light gear. In a game where items define your character more than anything else, this is a much-needed addition.

The new rituals

The systems that define the Destiny experience wouldn’t be worth discussing if the core action wasn’t compelling. Thankfully, the new story missions and strikes are thrilling and varied additions to the growing rotation of activities that you’ll play ad infinitum in the hope of netting better gear. There’s a competent stealth mission, a boss fight reminiscent of Devil May Cry, and a wealth of teleporting bullet sponges.

I did find it curious that several story missions are written to contradict a central aspect of Year One mission design: you’re tasked with escaping invincible foes, dark rituals, and exploding space stations, rather than facing a wave-based boss fight and warping to orbit. “Escape from overwhelming enemy threat,” is a staple of FPS mission design, but it’s not something that’s ever been done in Destiny until now. While I welcome new types of objectives and experiences, the few chase sequences offer up little challenge, and they feel a bit jarring given the last year of mowing down each last alien down before heading home.

What works, however, is the return to spaces that had previously been the domain of raiders only. The Vault of Glass and Crota’s End open up sans puzzles for players who may have found the idea of teaming up with six friends and/or random players a little too daunting. This is great as these are some of the best examples of level design you’re likely to see with a gun in your hand. Yes, the enigmatic riddles that had players stumped are absent, but they’re visually striking locales with interesting stories to tell, and I’m glad they’ll be exposed to more guardians.

In good company

Speaking of raids, King’s Fall is visually distinct, and features even more mind-bending situations than its predecessors. I’d go as far to say that the platforming sections in the initial stages of the raid are some of the most visually stunning set pieces I’ve seen throughout a year of playing Destiny. I haven’t finished it yet, but I’ve sampled two of the boss fights and they are brutally difficult, and absolutely require communication and careful coordination to progress. Some of the solutions seem a little too abstract for my tastes, and it’s a fair bit stingier than those that came before it, but I recommend giving it a go all the same.

Four new strikes have been added for PvE enthusiasts, and the Taken have also been added to existing strikes in a bid to freshen up some of the more tired examples of bullet spongery from Year One. Sunless Cell is my favourite of the bunch, with a boss fight that takes place in near darkness. It’s a bog standard fight, but it looks amazing and is sure to elicit the odd squeal if you’re easily startled. Shield Brothers is easily the most enjoyable clash you’ll have with the Cabal, whereas Fallen S.A.B.E.R and Echo Chamber have extremely durable enemies overstaying their welcome.

Heroic and Nightfall strikes (the same coop missions with more difficulty modifiers) have been overhauled to respect your time just that little bit more. New strikes drop strike-specific gear. One of the more grindy aspects of Destiny‘s end game is becoming dangerously close to enjoyable.

Holding court

Last, but not least, is the Dreadnaught, the new explorable environment and ship that houses Oryx and his Taken and Hive armies. It’s easy to get lost in the network of caves, hidden platforms, and crashed spaceships, but the mysteries hiding within are sure to keep me spelunking in the months to come.

The Court of Oryx, a space within the ship where players can initiate public events (read: timed boss fights), is a stingy disappointment that has its secrets spoiled prematurely. You’re prompted with hints as you play through all but the highest tier of these encounters, and if you’re not the player that initiates the fight, don’t hope for anything but blue engrams.

Patrolling the Dreadnaught falls into a rhythm similar to that which you’d find on Earth, Venus, Mars or the moon. The key difference here is that, for the first few hours at least, the Dreadnaught doesn’t feel like yet another sandbox with endlessly spawning enemies: there is more to it than killing low level ads and searching for collectables.

A bridge between worlds

The new subclasses for the Titan, Warlock and Hunter classes have supers that cover the gaps in their respective arsenals. I didn’t get the chance to test them all, but the Warlock finally has a close quarters arc attack to churn out orbs in PvE, and rack up quick kills in PvP. I’ve seen Hunters offer effective support as Nightstalkers, and Titans burn through minions of the Darkness with the Hammer of Sol projectile attack.

There are quest lines to attain each of the new classes, and in the case of the Warlock Stormcaller, it becomes apparent that Bungie missed an opportunity in building up the subclasses that came before it. The Sunsinger can defy death, surely that would’ve made for a more interesting quest line than inFamous In Space. In any case, reports from fellow players indicate that the new digs are just as enjoyable for the other classes.

Sportsball

Each of the new classes seem built for use in the Crucible, Destiny’s PvP component, and the new Rift mode is the perfect playground for Hammers, Bows, and Palpatines. What other competitive multiplayer mode allows you to slam dunk a futuristic basketball while dodging gunfire? No takers? I thought not. The previously near-invisible Salvage mode has also risen to prominence, and is a great fit for the new maps.

PvP is still very much a tale of corridors, but I actually enjoy Rift and Salvage, as opposed to the Call of Duty with Superpowers that was Control (Domination) and Clash (TDM). Here’s hoping that the next time the Iron Banner flies, we’ll be offered the chance to dunk instead of corner camping.

Hill of content

As a veteran player, The Taken King offers everything I was looking for: hours worth of fetch quests, new playgrounds to explore alone and with friends/randos, and thousands of opportunities to pray to RNGesus. Best of all, strikes like Sunless Cell, and the King’s Fall raid have me feeling that the best is yet to come.

The price to confront Oryx is steep, but the additions to the weekly set of rituals that isDestiny are worthwhile and, for the most part, enjoyable. The return to experience levelling and the new quest system may appear to be geared towards recruiting new players, but there are plenty of challenges available to experienced guardians as well. If you love the grind, it’s time to crash the Dreadnaught.

The author purchased Destiny: The Taken King at their own expense.

Destiny: The Taken King gives life and takes over

(Note: This post first appeared on games.on.net. Unfortunately, they're offline as of 30 November, so I thought I'd rescue it.)

It’s strange to acknowledge my attachment to guns. Fictional guns, no less. This Tuesday night at 7pm, however, the moment I’d been dreading for about a month came to pass. My two most reliable tools got locked away in my vault in first person inventory space manager and MMO-lite, Destiny.

My Gjallahorn, the exotic (for those not in the know, the highest grade of rarity) rocket launcher that was key to undoing any end game enemy, was now ostensibly useless. An uncommon machine gun of the filthiest green was presented early on as a more powerful replacement. My Vision of Confluence, the lynchpin of loadouts that felled Crota, Atheon and Skolas, was now holding me back from cracking Destiny’s new missions and its latest mystery, the Light system.

The Light system was used in Year One to determine your character’s level after hitting the experience cap of level 20. Now, instead of being determined solely by your equipped armour, it now looks at everything your character wears, holds, or otherwise has fastened to them. The mystery is all the more vexing (haha! Destiny pun) now that you can earn experience again, up to the new cap of 40.

“This is going to hurt,” I said to myself as I stashed my redundant weapons. For Destiny, until now, was never about the characters, or the lore at large. It was about elusive loot, and the cruelty or, as was often the case with me, mercy doled out by a random number generator. Guns were adored more than quest givers, and they were written better than them too.

Until now that is.

Now, with the 2.0 update and a wealth of new missions, the focus is on the story. Everyone in the Tower is a lot more talkative, now that Dinklebot (RIP) is gone. Quests are being passed out faster than I can keep track of them, and after skipping from vendor to vendor, I find myself ready to care about Eris Morn, Cayde 6, and a whole bunch of others that had previously been consigned to giving brief thanks for retrieving items and/or turning in bounties as recently as two weeks ago.

Where the campaign from the last expansion, The House of Wolves, felt like a set of mirror tracks, the fight against Crota’s absent father Oryx offers up something never before seen inDestiny: life. The cast doesn’t just stand still and deliver lines of dialogue, they emote, they gesticulate, and rebel, and they act as more than glorified mailboxes.

Sure, the whole revenge plot that’s the crux (another pun!) of the single player experience, is unabashed in its silliness, it’s still more compelling than find the garden. You know, the black one that’s teeming with deathbots.

The new environment, the interior of Oryx’s Dreadnaught, appears to be packed with secrets, and has just enough variety in terms of the colour palette to be considered more than Crota’s End 2: Daddy Issues. I haven’t done too much exploring just yet, but once I get my Light shining I’ll be digging deeper.

I’ve fought hundreds of Taken (be prepared to hear and read that word a lot), and they’re not just garden variety Fallen, Hive, Vex and Cabal with twitchy animations. The enemies that Oryx repurposes are a lethal mix of the old and the new, and they’ve been injected throughout old activities, and the new campaign to catch veteran players off guard. Their attacks and abilities mimic some Guardian supers (like the Titan’s bubble shield, for example), while some are altogether new (like the Taken Captain’s very large, blinding projectile shot).

About five hours in and I feel like I’m barely scratching the surface. Even at level 40 (the return to experience levelling feels superfluous), I’m not ready for end game activities like Daily Heroic (higher difficulty level with damage modifiers) story missions, and can’t even imagine what a Nightfall strike (3 player coop missions) would be like at this point. I’ve got some shooting to do.

Copy of The Taken King purchased at the reviewer’s own expense.

Fallout 4 Review (XB1): The revolution will be safe

Fallout 4 is safe. For a game about traversing a post-apocalyptic wasteland, it is so fucking safe.

Fallout 4 is also an ugly game. It doesn't look exactly like (or 'as bad as') Fallout 3, despite what the social media cesspit may have you believing, but the improvement is slight enough to be dismissed as "incremental." That being said, post-bombing Boston isn't a technical marvel, but in terms of concept, it's consistent and effective.

Fallout 4 looks dreadful, but it's supposed to. Dogs aren't supposed to clip up and down through closed elevator doors, but this is the price we pay for Bethesda's janky brand of open world adventuring. To be able to wander through an expanse rarely-rivalled in terms of sheer width and possibility, we need to expect the frequent stuttering of frame rates and V.A.T.S-engaged combatants.

The possibilities aren't quite endless, but they are worth enduring technical difficulties for. How many other games allow you to create a strong, sarcastic woman warrior who brings violent peace to scorched earth? How many other games allow players to work with a diverse cast, including people of colour and women; in leadership positions, no less? Very. Fucking. Few.

But this is what New Vegas did. This is what, to my fallible memory's recollection, Fallout 3 did to a lesser extent.

This is iteration, not innovation.

The attempts at innovation fall flat for anyone rocking anything other than a strength and intelligence-tuned S.P.E.C.I.A.L build. My luck and charisma build made difficult conversations a cinch, but it also barred me from engaging in weapon and armour modding (in any sort of meaningful way) for more than a day's worth of play.

The settlement building is just as poorly explained, and is obtuse as all get out. I purposefully abstained from completing the tutorial mission on the hunch that any friendly territories I acquired before that point would not be subject to invasion.

For more than 40 hours, and the duration of the main questline, this hypothesis proved true. Funnily enough, the second I fast travelled away from the setting for the ultimate action, I received notice that an outpost was under attack. I don't want to say this new system is unusable, as some creative (if not, puerile) players have already published some impressive creations; it's just a little too indecipherable for my tastes.

Another reason I'm failing to engage with these new features is that the barriers to entry in terms of raw resource requirements are set too high for characters who can't carry an abundance of junk that has no application outside of combat. If I want to have access to weapons that will (eventually) kill an array of deadly enemies, I can't carry 10 pounds of paint thinner, 50 fuses, and my entire arsenal.

Yes, inventory management is still a pain after nearly 20 years of Fallout games. I'd love to offer a solution (like, for instance, being able to send companions to nearby settlements a la Torchlight), but I'm sure the internet as a collective would not deem it worthy. For now, at least, I must continue to return to my home settlement and stuff a fabric suitcase with miniguns and power armour pieces. Don't y'all get between gamers and their fucked up notions of realism now.

The main quest line is home to one too many pointless twists, with inconsistent pacing and some choices that left me feeling indifferent. I don't want to go too far into it for fear of spoiling anything, but the choice of faction for me was obvious, as the two alternatives that I had (could've been three, but I didn't pursue the Minutemen quest chain) had some moustache-twirling, vaudevillian creeds by which I couldn't abide. That being said, my choice didn't result in the satisfying, life-affirming conclusion I was expecting. It wasn't abjectly apocalyptic, but it didn't give me the warm feeling I was hoping for.

As was the case with Fallout 3 and New Vegas, the best meat is in the off-cuts. A short sojourn to collect baseball collectibles for a fan who had no idea how the old game worked was far more enjoyable than the central revenge plot. The guy who wanted to experience every drug-induced high available was far more relatable than any of the Brotherhood of Steel lackeys I came across.

I could continue complaining, like say about the conversation system that leads to seemingly-random outcomes based on vague prompts, the transmisgonyst robot gag that is KL-E-0, or the near non-existent changes to V.A.T.S (or the the combat system as a whole, for that matter); but I'd be missing the point. Fallout 4 is a time sink, and for the most part, it's a sink that I and most other nerds are happy to piss into. War never changes, but Fallout does ever so slowly.

Pets and pariahs

The Beautiful Sing

First Lady of Leeson pets

May your garden grow

The Grey Ghost, Kaylee

Vibrant, rebellious cat

Eternally small

Matriarch, Elaine

Ageless and always regal

Please sleep well, my Queen

Constance, the Fragile

Mother's most precious creature

In our hearts always

Carefree Millicent

Naturally peerless white

Grimey pariah

Cautious Adeline

Selfless, quiet, Addy Pie

Love and peace to you

Destiny: The Taken King reviewed

I got commissioned to review the latest expansion to Destiny, The Taken King for games.on.net. If you're interested in hearing my thoughts on Bungie's latest triumph, be sure to check out:

• Early impressions: http://games.on.net/2015/09/destiny-the-taken-king-impressions/
• Review: http://games.on.net/2015/09/destiny-taken-king-review/

If you're not one for scrolling, you can also read my reviews of:

• Base game, with The Dark Below expansion: http://unbearabledutch.blogspot.com.au/2015/03/destiny-review-ps4-cold-dark-loneliness.html
• House of Wolves expansion: http://unbearabledutch.blogspot.com.au/2015/06/destiny-house-of-wolves-review-ps4.html

Volume: Trilogy

Volume

The staggering blow

The staggering blows

Every triumph met with defeats

Nothing is gained in this constant attrition

The number subtracted is always greater

No noise can be heard above the screaming

The maddening howl of consistent grief

I will love you forever

Can you hear me?

Volume II

I would rather not speak

I would not control the flow

The careless sound

I would only speak truth

My version of it is loud with blame

My version has lots of details

There'll be no chance to jump in

My version must be heard

You consider protesting

You know this requires energy

The silence is victory for me

You don't need us anymore

Your version is soft and pointed

Your version cuts and runs

Too bad it won't be played

Your version keeps you here

They know we will end

They sense broken trust

I know the damage irreparable 

They will have to meet us half way

Their version is not final 

Their version spans space and time

You know them better than I

Their version would take years to hear

VOLUME III

LETS TALK

YOU

ME

THE WHOLE FUCKING FAMILY

SETTLE DOWN

IF YOU CANT BE CIVIL

THEN WHATS THE POINT

HEAR ME OUT

NO LISTEN

Listen to your heart

She presses against his face

That lost look in his eyes digitised

Immortalised in high definition 

I've seen that face at home

In other countries

It speaks of hurt

That you want to run

"You might as well rip my heart out"

You answer quickly

I can hear your shame bounce off her cheek

You'll return at once

"You might as well rip my heart out"

A lost vocation 

A locked shed

A set of keys

A single name on a policy

"You might as well rip my heart out"

Reminders of what's been taken

By disease and with the passage of time

Batman: Arkham Knight Review (PS4): About a Batmobile

Batman: Arkham Asylum was a good game. It was also a good licensed game; which meant that people -- particularly people with an affinity for the Caped Crusader (like myself) -- may have been a little prone to hyperbole when discussing one of the better games of 2009. Still, there was no denying that it looked amazing, the punching and kicking felt appropriately hefty, and the boss fights did justice to the Rogues Gallery.

Fast forward to 2011, and Arkham City seemed to lack everything that made its predecessor a revelation. A large environment with a lot of dead space, featuring unlikeable interpretations of some of my favourite characters, and strung together by an absolute fizzer of a story. What stuck with me most, however, was the feeling that Bats had almost too many gadgets. I would often forget how to use or find the gadget I needed to progress. Compounding this was the near necessity of integrating gadget use into the previously enjoyable combat system. It was a big, forced, flop. 

Arkham Origins felt like more of the same, and it was the first game in the series I failed to complete. A similarly dreary environment, a painfully slow start, and the most powerfully frustrating boss fight I've endured in years was enough to force a premature exit. 

Why the history lesson? To give a little bit of enthusiast games press-style context, and to show that my expectations for the series followed a classic bell curve (low, high, low, lower). On the topic of the games press, I'd also witnessed a litany of complaints about the omnipresent Batmobile's role in Arkham Knight.

I was ready to have my expectations met. I was ready for another tedious stroll through Gotham.

I was pleasantly surprised to find that I actually enjoyed Arkham Knight. More than that, I actually liked the Batmobile-based combat sections.

Don't get me wrong, the game is far from the embarrassing hyperbole of "Next-level next-gen..." (yes, someone actually wrote that sentence). Much like Arkham City, Knight suffers from an overabundance of gadgetry. Worse still, some of the items in your inventory seem to have no use outside of cinematic sequences. Control of everything from the UI, to Batman himself, to the combat (mainly in the later stages), to the Batmobile is overly complicated. This is a feature-bloated romp that could've done with some editorial wrangling.

More troubling is the role of women in the video game version of Gotham. They exist to be saved or to be killed. They exist for titillation and motive. One of the game's many elaborate, multi-stage side quests exists solely for the purpose of rescuing one of the comic book's stronger women characters (by that I mean, she hasn't been immune to the damsel in distress trope, but she can kick buttocks) from a gruesome, explosive fate. The story as a whole is pretty unsatisfying and, much like the recent 'Death of the Family' arc, major punches end up being pulled.

Batman's motto of never killing bad dudes and dudettes is also mind-bogglingly adhered to through the Batmobile electrocuting people on impact, rather than crushing them. Moreover, the ragdoll physics produce some God-defying body crumpling.

Most of these are minor quibbles, but if you go in with lower expectations, I can guarantee you'll have fun with Bats this time around.

What I loved most about Arkham Knight was its near wholesale abandonment of boss fights. In Asylum they looked and played well, but in City it was all sizzle and no steak. This time around, the focus is primarily stealth (with a refreshing lack of insta-fail segments), and the usually satisfying one man army brawling.

As mentioned previously, the Batmobile also gets its fair share of the spotlight. Batmobile combat is super agile tank against more fallible, less agile tanks and I actually found myself going out of my way to shoot shit. The racing and tailing sections are less compelling, but by the end, I was still happy to press L1 and jump in that iconic hulk of an automobile.

One final note on the Batmobile: mixing up rooftop traversal with vehicle segments worked really well for mine, as I found it tedious grapnel(ugh) hooking, bashing X, and maintaining glide after a few hours in the last two sandbox affairs. I realise it won't be everyone's cup of tea, but I loved me some Batmobile (unless the Riddler was involved).

I liked Arkham Knight. I'm pretty sure I won't revisit it, but I found it far more entertaining (and less tedious) than the last few iterations. This is a fitting end to the Arkham series, and well worth playing if you've previously enjoyed Rocksteady's brand of awkward stealth and solid fisticuffs.

Learning to walk again

Having conquered all of Destiny's Year One 'Moments of Triumph' and hoarding max level gear for two character classes was almost enough for me. Last night, after having helped a friend through a Prison of Elders run at level 32, I felt satisfied that there was nothing left for me to do.

When I woke up this morning though, I felt a renewed sense of longing to have a max level Hunter. The final piece of my Destiny puzzle was still yet to be placed.

After a few story missions it became painfully apparent that I had made a huge mistake. The Hunter should have been my second choice after the Warlock. The class is fun to play, and the Golden Gun super is infinitely more satisfying to use than the Titan's dome shield or Fists of Havoc (basically an Incredible Hulk-style ground pound).

What's also been humorous, if nothing else, has been witnessing the careless bravery of new Guardians taking on some of the game's early challenges. I was playing the Nexus strike on Venus, and more than once saw different players walking out of cover with an uncommon rocket launcher thinking they could topple Sekrion with a single shot.

Example scenario:

Teammate: [walks into the open] It me, bebe. [fires rocket]
Sekrion: [takes minimal damage, shreds player to death in seconds]
Me: lelz [revives fallen, courageous teammate]

Won't be long now before I can take my third Guardian into the endgame. I already have the coveted Celestial Nighthawk ready to plonk on her head too. What a time to be alive.

Image source: http://kotaku.com/destinys-newest-helmet-is-an-instant-boss-killer-1706354584

Her Story (iOS) Review: Her Benevolence

Some of my favourite games from my childhood used full motion video (FMV) to create some narrative context for fantastical violence. Crusader: No Remorse, Wing Commander III: Heart of the Tiger, and the original Command and Conquer are just some of the games that made "cinematic" a staple adjective in modern games writing. Looking back on the aforementioned examples though, it's hard to see these hammily acted scenes as anything other than kitschy. 

Her Story is anything but kitschy. 

I can't say much for fear of spoiling any revelations, but know that Viva Seifert, the sole subject of Her Story's multitude of film clips, puts on a chilling performance. Her efforts, coupled with a melancholic, unsettling score, had my heart racing long after shutting down the app. The clacking of a worn keyboard and humming of a monitor long past its prime serve as punctuation for short punches of powerful dialogue. 

I made the mistake of starting my playthrough in bed, late at night, just after receiving an SOS from a family member. I had an hour to kill before I was needed, and started searching through the 90s era database for clues as to what her story was really about. Within minutes I was hooked, and by the close of the first hour I was well and truly spooked. 

I hardly slept that night, and I didn't dare restart my investigation until daylight hours. The crazy thing is that your sole means of interaction across 2 hours is typing in search terms. Picking the right keywords brings up clips that provide additional vital clues. There'll be those who try and argue this isn't a game, but who would pay that any mind when the results are so compelling? 

My only complaint is that even after viewing the majority of the clips, I didn't get a satisfying resolution. I just heard some scary shit and had trouble sleeping for a couple of nights. I mean I know what happened, but there are loose ends that are killing me!

For me, in the Year of our Lord Luigi 2015, the sole measure of a game is whether or not it can pull my attention away from Destiny. Her Story is so captivating that I forgot about upgrading weapons and plundering vaults for days. Now go. Go pay the paltry price of admission, turn off the lights, and make sure your doors are locked tight. 

Three days left to live

Pill dick
Aggressively
Your drunk eyes are nice
Boyfriend points
Eat out
Fuck it's hot in here
Double dip
Alpha male
Big dog got top gunned

Destiny: House of Wolves Review (PS4): House Rules

Author's note: This review is very jargon heavy, so I'd recommend reading my review of the base Destiny game first if you haven't done so already. 

Destiny and its first expansion, The Dark Below (TDB), made for an interesting beast. The single player campaign across both releases can be mowed through without much concern for strategy, and experiencing it again with subsequently-created characters creates a strong sense of tedium. It was only when modifiers were introduced -- that increase the damage dealt and received by elements and specific attacks, or require you to swap between weapons -- that Destiny shone, and shone brightly. The endgame, for the most part, was characterised by introducing difficulty and a hint of unpredictability to the same levels that I and countless others had played over and over again for months at a time.

Also grinding. 

Over time Bungie made some effort to ease the brutally stingy nature of the random number generator (RNGeezus) that doled out rewards at the close of single and multiplayer activities. It also opened up the Weekly Heroic strikes to matchmaking, which made it easier to earn currency to more quickly progress through the mid twenties (i.e. level 25-28). The Crucible (for those not in the know, multiplayer) still offered few worthwhile rewards unless the Iron Banner (ie. level advantage-enabled tournaments) was running.

I made and attained the personal goal of hitting the level cap before House of Wolves (HoW) was released, and also made the decision to hang up my Iron Regalia Boots until the expansion materialised. All up it meant there was roughly 3 weeks where I wasn't combing the familiar depths of our solar system for sweet, sweet treasure. It was a break I needed though, as the life of a lone wolf (ie. one who does not have Destiny-playing friends and doesn't consult LFG sites) Destiny player can feel unrewarding at times. 

HoW is literally and philosophically a game changer. Literally, in that there's a wealth of new content available for high level players. Philosophically, in that by transparently advertising rewards for completing certain feats and activities, I made more of an effort to find companions to tackle big game challenges. 

Heroic additions

First things first, the new single player missions are fun, quickly consumed, and great additions to the Daily Heroic rotation. You wouldn't go as far to say that the new missions add coherence to Destiny's narrative as a whole, but you get a mildly interesting standalone tale with some likeable, though utterly disposable, new characters. 

Experienced players will be mildly disappointed by the lack of new locations, but the inescapable feeling that HoW is like a set of mirror tracks isn't exactly an unpleasant one. Quick glimpses of locations that were previously barred to raid parties are reason enough to play through the new story missions, but there are some worthwhile rewards for players before modifiers are reintroduced. 

First and foremost is the new special weapon variety, the sidearm, which will make Call of Duty players feel right at home. TDB's quest weapon was powerful, but required a lot of grinding to make it into something worthwhile; Vestian Dynasty, however, is strong out of the box and useful in many situations. Additionally, Motes of Light are offered up far more often, meaning you'll have additional means to afford exotic gear from Xur on weekends. 

The new strike is a step above all those that came before it, and is a lot gentler in terms of level design. Not to say that it's a pushover in Nightfall or Weekly Heroic varieties, but it's designed to be enjoyed as opposed to endured. Frequent encounters with big enemies are a welcome change to the wave-based nature of previous strikes, and I've been more than happy to play through it repeatedly with both of my characters. 

In addition to scripted missions, every week you can pick up fresh Fallen bounties from the Reef social space. On completion, you'll not only gain a significant experience boost for new weapons and armour, you'll also get a chance to find Fallen treasure chests that contain ammo syntheses, engrams, and treasure keys for the Prison of Elders. 

Captivated by the Elders

Minor spoiler alert: finishing all of the new scripted PvE activities opens up the Prison of Elders (PoE) for Fireteams of 3. PoE, for those who enjoyed Gears of War or Halo, are your Horde and Firefight modes that pit a team of Guardians against 5 rounds of wave-based encounters and boss fights. Unfortunately, only the lowest tier of this activity is open to matchmaking; meaning that players wanting the high level gear offered as rewards for completing the harder difficulties are going to have to make friends (or acquaintances at the very least).

For my part, I finally downloaded a 'looking for group' (LFG) app to find teammates. It turns out there are a shitload of people wanting to play Destiny's many different activities at any point in time. The random teammates you acquire through LFG apps and sites aren't, from experience, the most dependable of companions, but they will try their damnedest to get the job done (as they're after the same loot you're yearning for). Over the last few weeks I've seen my friend list swell from just over 20, to more than 50, and I'm regularly invited to raid the Vault of Glass (never mind my success rate), and partake in other activities I've already completed many times over.    

PoE is a solid addition to the weekly schedule, and the 4 difficulty settings make for genuinely different experiences:

• Level 28: a calm jog through manageable boss encounters and waves of standard enemies, with modifiers offering a gentle challenge. A PoE run at this difficulty takes slightly longer than a strike on a higher level playlist, but if you're packing a treasure key, the rewards can be significantly greater. For example, my first PoE chest contained a second Gjallahorn. 
• Level 32: entirely doable, but some combinations of enemies and modifiers will require multiple attempts if your Fireteam is careless. The fifth wave is comprised of a boss fight that has some raid-like qualities. For example: Qodron, the Forever Eater, detains Guardians in a fashion similar to the Templar in the Vault of Glass.  
• Level 34: as above, but extremely difficult if your fireteam is below the recommended level. Some modifier and enemy combinations can have you stumped for as long as an hour. Some boss fights are brutally difficult at this level. 
• Level 35: thanks to some extremely talented players I met through a Kotaku Australia readers' Vault of Glass run (and a recent hot fix which nerfed the final boss), I was able to conquer one of the greatest challenges available in Destiny. Six waves await, and you'd be wasting your time if you were to attempt this without having first hit the level cap. The sixth wave pits you against the Kell of Kells, and features all the hallmarks of Bungie level design. It's thrilling, frustrating, and extremely satisfying. 

It's possible to hit the new level cap of 34 just by completing the Level 32 variety each week,  but if you want high level gear that buffs anything other than your strength stat, you'll need to save up some cores and have a gamble with Variks, the Fallen judge who oversees PoE. 

Knowing (for the most part) what weapons and armour are available for completing PoE runs at higher levels was the key reason for my becoming a more active Destiny player. It's also a welcome change to the seemingly arbitrary way that most players had to progress through the endgame. No more hoping for those raid boots to drop after beating bosses for the upteenth time. 

Just like your favourite band

What becomes apparent after you claim your first weapon from Variks, is that the new, high level weapons aren't as good as the gear you'll find in the raids from the base game and TDB. If you take a primary from the Vault of Glass, like Vision of Confluence as an example: a scout rifle that deals solar damage, and fires in full auto mode; "ascend" it to the highest attack level and you'll find it infinitely more useful than any of the legendary primaries you can earn from PoE or the Crucible. 

Ascending old weapons to the new attack stat cap is possible through use of Etheric Light for legendary weapons, or an additional Exotic Shard for older exotics. While older armour can also be ascended, there's more promise in the older items of weaponry I had locked up in my vault for months now. 

Destiny is a game that is battling with its brief history. New legendary weapons can be reforged at the Tower's Gunsmith, allowing you to try and "roll" for some better perks. None of the combinations I've seen so far come close to compensating for a lack of elemental damage, and some of the new perks seem almost useless to me. For example, why would I be interested in a rocket launcher that allows me to sprint faster after a kill, or a fusion rifle that that deals more damage when I'm airborne? This ability to have a mulligan with legendaries also makes these weapons seem 'legendary' by name only. The only exception to the above comes in the form of the sidearm, the new type of special weapon that I mentioned earlier. 

If you're interested in reading into this further, Kotaku's Kirk Hamilton gives a great overview of how the shiny new guns won't cut it against an old Felwinter's Lie or Two To The Morgue.  

The new exotic weapons are also interesting in that some appear to fuse weapon types, much like the Vex Mythoclast (a hybrid auto and fusion rifle). Queenbreaker's Bow is a cross between a sniper and a fusion rile, whereas the Lord of Wolves is a shotgun that fires like a pulse rifle. I've only managed to earn Lord of Wolves so far, but it truly earns the exotic slot (for those not in the know, you can only equip one exotic weapon at a time). It looks otherworldly in comparison to other shotguns, and its high impact and large magazine make it highly effective against packs of enemies. 

That being said, I'm still finding it hard to get away from my Gjallahorn and Ice Breaker, so while they have allure, the new exotic weapons face a similar struggle to their legendary counterparts.  

Spreading wealth at the top
The increased level cap has been reason enough for all Tower vendors to stock new armour at the previous high of 36 light. This means that anyone who found themselves #Forever29 or 31 will be able to hit level 32 after spending a few hundred marks.

Thanks to a friend who has recently started playing, however; it's interesting to note this change still hasn't helped the grind for players in the early twenties. The highest level you can hit with rare gear is still level 25, and you still need to hit rank 2 with Vanguard or Crucible before you can purchase legendary armour. This then makes levels 26 through 31 seem redundant, as you'll surpass them as soon as you rank up with the Vanguard, Crucible, or with the clans; provided you have enough marks, which you should because it's not like you can spend them beforehand anyway.

I'm still struggling to see why you'd want to increase your reputation with a clan unless you really like their aesthetic. Increasing your Vanguard or Crucible reputation level still grants engrams that can decode to clan gear, and perk rolls for these seem to be just as useless and/or arbitrary as those for non-clan armour and weapons. Clan armour is also sold at 36 light, so the path to the level cap works in exactly the same way.

Level. Fucking. Thirty. Four. #PS4share pic.twitter.com/fVt3w7XnAb

— Tristan Damen (@UnbearableDutch) June 9, 2015

The last thing worth noting is that HoW exotics already have the maximum light stat of 42, whereas older exotics acquired through engrams or bought via Xur still need to be upgraded. It's not a huge deal, but again there seems to be a penalty of sorts for working with older gear.

Feuding with friends
Big changes came to the Crucible with the launch of HoW. There's not only new maps and modes to play with; the Crucible is now offering more than a pittance if you enjoy playing against other players. Playing a match of the daily featured game type now grants an experience bonus, a small package of Motes of Light and Passage Coins (for the Trials of Osiris), and even has a high chance of granting a legendary weapon.

It was almost farcical (in the best way possible) how during the first running of the Iron Banner after HoW launched, players seemed to be getting legendary weapons after every second game. I amassed enough Passage Coins to buy each of the 'boons' for the Trials of Osiris several times over. This renewed sense of generosity has actually compelled me to play more PvP than I would outside of the Iron Banner tournament as well.

The new maps range from cramped and uncomfortable, to beautiful and spacious, but if you're only into playing Destiny for PvP, I'm not sure they'd be reason enough to take the plunge. No, that would likely come in the form of Trials of Osiris (ToO), a 3 versus 3 elimination mode that is run on weekends, and offers the chance to win some exclusive, Ancient Egyptian-themed gear.

I've played ToO with LFG randoms and known Destiny enthusiasts, and while more fun with people you know, it can be genuinely exciting either way. My only advice would be 'prepare to be Thorned', as almost every player you'll encounter through this mode is packing that exotic hand cannon thanks to its ability to poison targets.

ToO matches play out on the same map every time for a given week, and this has seen the development of some clever strategies. One of the funniest matches I played was against a group who camped at the starting point on 'Pantheon', a map from TDB. My Fireteam was wiped 4 times in a row when we tried to rush the platform they fortified, but we turned the tide once we pulled out our sniper rifles. 

That sense of panic that sets in when you're tied on match point (first to 5 wins) with your Fireteam downed is something new to the Crucible. It's something that I'd also argue is sorely needed. With almost all of Destiny's modes playing like CoD with double jumps, it's good to have something that feels different, with higher stakes too.

Feast fit for the House of Kings
Despite my complaints, this latest expansion for Destiny is well worth the price of admission. It makes the later stages of the end game far gentler, and provides a slew of challenges for any type of Destiny player.

The emerging challenge for Bungie will be making Destiny less of a grind for new players, whilst also honouring the time invested by long time enthusiasts. In the short term, my suggestion would be to remove the reputation rank requirement for buying legendary armour from Tower vendors, but other than that, Bungie needs to be a little more explicit in how to traverse the game post-campaign.

I know people who've played the game for more than forty hours who are still struggling to come to grips with the light system. You can have spectacular mysteries like the Vault of Glass and have players know how to progress, and I'm sure we'll get there by the time The Taken King comes along.

I don't see me hanging up my Starfire Protocol any time soon. I've still got to finish Crota's End on hard, and somehow find my way to Mercury. I still want to finish Crota's End on hard and somehow find my way to Mercury. For someone who used to jump from game to game on an almost daily basis, I'd argue that is an achievement. 

Constance

You were not ready
Delicate creature
Torn asunder

You survived
Against all odds
Prolonged convalescence

You cherished family
Rejected all others
Trust hard earned

You were Mum's only daughter
Groomed frequently
Put a bow on it

You are loved
As much as blood
Be at peace now

Good dog

Splatoon, and other things that shouldn't exist

I've been playing Destiny almost exclusively for the last 3 months. I might play the odd round of Hearthstone, or an old Virtual Console title as I wait for sleep to take me, but on the whole, it's fair to say I'm obsessed with my second life as a space magician (and my third life as an alien woman who can kick and shoulder charge intergalactic evil).

For 3 months I've played the same missions again, and again, and again, hoping for a chance at weapons and armour that people brag about (or secretly yearn for) on various forums. I have earned some items of so-called 'phat loot', and despite my expectation, finding Gjallahorn (and Vision of Confluence, and Monte Carlo, etc, etc) wasn't reason to down tools; if anything, it fuelled my desire to see more of this post-apocalyptic vision of Earth, and the galaxy surrounding it.

Destiny, as a shooter made by a time-tested developer, makes sense to exist and be enduringly popular in this day and age. While it isn't gory, it is certainly violent. People like violence in video games. People like space ships and visions of the future, be they positive or otherwise. I can accept that Destiny is thing in the year 2015.

Splatoon doesn't make sense. I don't know how it exists in a world where Call of Duties, and Batmans, and sexy Witchers shoot, bludgeon, and butcher everything within range. Destiny is colourful, but few shades of its palette are bright enough to match the neons that players splatter across skate parks and warehouses in Splatoon. Splatoon doesn't support functionality like voice chat, that most Destiny players use with a modicum of respect, but others use to mercilessly criticise any mistakes you might make. You don't need to attack your fellow players to win in Splatoon. I say again, no one has to die in Splatoon.

You can just paint. You can just equip a big paint roller and run. No one has to die.

I've won matches in Splatoon with a kill count under 5. I watch the mini map, not to detect enemies, but to discern where best to place my giant brush.

Splatoon is a miracle. A flawed, beautiful miracle.