Meet the Mob: Tristan Damen (Part 2 – Hardware)

So, where was I? Right, current generation hardware. Beautiful stuff, isn’t it? 

 

I picked up an Xbox 360 just as I was heading into my last year of university studies. Being loyal to the PlayStation brand, this was not an easy decision; but the ridiculous price set for Sony's latest machine (just under a thousand bucks in Australia) and inevitable delays forced my hand. All things considered, I’m glad I ventured into brand neutrality: for the 360 was and is a fantastic console. From the Xbox Live Marketplace to exclusive software, Microsoft’s second foray into the market has provided heartbreak and fun in equal measure. 

 

“Heartbreak,” I hear you say. “How so?” Between my brother and I, we’ve seen four 360s fall at the hands of the Red Ring of Death (RRoD). For a family who’d never had a console fail, these deaths rocked us to our very core. Still, the best gaming experiences of this generation can arguably be found on this platform; build quality be damned. 

 

Dead Rising was the first game to demonstrate the power and necessity of this new breed of machines. Hundreds of zombies on screen, all sporting a level of detail that was simply not achievable on your PlayStation 2s, Xboxes and Gamecubes. This “arrival” so to speak, was further highlighted by BioShock, which would have to be my favourite single player experience without question. Rapture, Ryan and the moral quandaries that they presented continue to be the point from which all other videogame narratives should be judged. 

 The Big Daddy of all powerful first-person narratives.

 

The Xbox 360 is also home to my favourite competitive multiplayer experience as well: Gears of War. I wasn’t well liked in most matches that I joined: I stole kills, I relied heavily on the chainsaw bayonet, I was Achievement-focussed (so I hogged weapon pick-ups) and I freaked out – as in rolling around, desperately avoiding an enemy that probably couldn’t see me anyway - whenever the opposing side acquired the Longshot. So to summarize, I was not a team player and my actions were never backed up by anything reminiscent of skill. Still, it’s by far the most fun I’ve ever had playing with or against others, and I would also argue that I invested more time in playing Gears online than any other game released before or after the fact. 

 This is what I was trying so desperately to avoid!

 

Right after my first 360 suffered from the dreaded RRoD, I switched to the PlayStation 3. Metal Gear Solid 4 and Grand Theft Auto IV were my first memorable experiences with Sony’s current generation hardware, with each proving to be the best instalments of their respective franchises. I’ve heard plenty of arguments for Niko being a flawed character, but that’s exactly the point. Listen to his chat with Illyena Faustin: the man has seen the worst humanity has to offer, and after travelling to America to live a life of supposed luxury with his cousin, he finds himself in just as much trouble as he had back home...all within a matter of days. He didn’t want to slay that SWAT team with Johnny Klebitz, but to avoid time in the slammer, he did it anyway. When people are backed into a corner, they do desperate, regrettable shit. End of story. Besides, Niko be damned: Liberty City is the real star of the show!

 

Only recently have I tried to start gaming on the PC. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve always had one in the house, but rarely with enough power to play new releases. Sometimes I’m blown away by how smooth the experience is when compared to consoles: both Deus Ex: Human Revolution and Warhammer 40K: Space Marine held up remarkably well on my new laptop. My new "rig," however, fails to run others - like Witcher 2 and, more recently Driver: San Francisco – to a satisfactory standard.

 

Still, as someone prone to wax nostalgic, I’m happy to admit that the standard of gaming experiences on current platforms is better than those found on previous hardware iterations. Even if you disagree, you could likely download your favourite “classics” to your platform of choice or find them included in a compilation disc.

I could go on about my favourite games from the last few years, but I need to address something that finds itself into many of my posts: the Australian effect. Things are different on this side of the pond, and whether it be price, censorship or the release schedule, it’ll often be cause for me to pause for thought, scream or put rant to paper (or blog as it were). 

 

Australians are often subject to ridiculous price points at bricks-and-mortar retail stores. The retail price of videogames is set at $99.95 for most PC releases and as much as $119.95 for console games. That’s standard editions too, folks. If you want to talk Collector’s Editions we can tread into some ridiculous territory; upwards of $200. Grey importation is the order of the day for a lot of Australians, with Australia Post reporting that a whopping 70% of packages processed were from online retailers (via Kotaku AU). Downloadable games and content is, however, still subject to some pretty bogus pricing arrangements. To buy Modern Warfare 3 from Steam in Australia will set you back $99.95, and the prices seen on the Playstation Network and XBLM’s Games on Demand service are at times reason for me to vomit in horror. So THQ, you want me to pay $99 for a digital copy of Space Marine via the PSN for which the publisher didn’t have to foot any logistical costs (such as packaging, freight etc)? No thanks, and up yours for asking!

 

The Office of Film and Literature Classification (OFLC) and the Australian games classification system is also cause for much agony and eye-rolling. Despite what you may have read, we don’t actually have an R18+ rating for games yet. It was agreed to in principle by the Standing Committee of Attorneys General, but the new rating is yet to be implemented (once again, via Kotaku AU). For more on the OFLC’s gaffes and inconsistent decision-making, check out these posts:

• The Skin-Deep Doctrine
• Barely Legal: Australia, Games and Moral Panic
• How did Dead Island defy the Australian Classification Ban Hammer

 No, you're right: this looks like a hug compared to Left 4 Dead 2

Apart from grand larceny and a nonsensical ratings system, Australia’s actually a pretty great place to live and game. It is pretty hot here though - particularly on the Gold Coast – so Swamp Ass is a real danger, especially in summer. 

 

Are there any other Australian Bitmobbers out there? I know there are some Kiwis amongst us, which is good to see. 

  
Dutch Note: There will be a third part to this series, however, you may have already seen it; so I won't publish it here again. It's an edited version of Sounds Like a Memory.

Meet the Mob: Tristan Damen (Part 1 – Ancient History)

Dutch Note: I'm writing a two-part biography piece for my Bitmob portfolio and I thought I may as well share it with y'all as well. Some of this information I've shared previously; as in when I first started the blog. Hope you like it!

Nerdiness runs in my blood: my father was a gamer before me. Famously, he had bested a friend’s long-standing high score in Frogger one night on his Atari 2600, only for my older brother – then an infant – to crawl past and unwittingly turn the console off. Heartbroken and exhausted, my father did what anyone would do after losing sight of an all-important goal: sit outside and polish off a case of beer (or your beverage of choice; in Dad’s case it was beer). My dad eschewed his gamer ways in order to provide food, clothes and video-games to a growing family: something for which I’m eternally grateful.

Enough about my dad though; this post is supposed to be about me!

My brothers and I were happy enough with the Atari until our mother brought home a Sega Mega Drive (Genesis), two controllers, an arcade stick and six games which she had borrowed from a friend. The next six weeks were indulgent beyond belief, and six-year-old me knew to do only two things when it came time to return this wunder-console to its owner:

1.    Cry like a baby

2.    Beg for a Mega Drive of our own

We would one day receive that Mega Drive we so dearly desired, but not before we had experience with some of Sega’s other machines; specifically, the Master System and Game Gear. My brothers and I were most definitely Sega fanboys throughout our childhood. We were at times distracted by PC offerings such as Relentless: Twinsen’s Adventure, Crusader: No Remorse, Fallout and many a Wing Commander game; but we much preferred a controller to a keyboard and mouse.

 Best Action RPG ever.....EVER!

In my teens I found myself with a PlayStation and a somewhat more powerful PC. On the Sony console, I sunk any free time and money into RPGs, fighting and wrestling games; Street Fighter Alpha 3, the original WWF Smackdown and Vagrant Story being my favourites if I had to choose. On the PC I invested years into creating mods and skin packs for Dark Forces II: Jedi Knight (JK). 

While I was a massive Star Wars fan, I also had a deep love for a great many other pop culture icons; so being able to create and modify skins for use in JK’s multiplayer suite allowed me to express my love of all things nerdy. In LAN matches at the Damen house you could expect to see Hollywood Hulk Hogan using Force Destruction on Wolverine, who was in turn activating Force Healing (or was he using his Healing Factor?). There were some great user-created maps available for Jedi Knight. The best was definitely the Sarlaac Pit complete with skiffs and Jabba’s Palace in the distance.  Combine that with the Mandolorian Wars mode, which included grappling hooks, and you could keep me entertained for – what turned out to be – years.

 It's like I'm watching Empire!

After finishing high school, my brothers and I progressed to the PlayStation 2. I spent a lot of time playing various instalments of the Grand Theft Auto franchise, usually with System of a Down’s self-titled album as a soundtrack. When with friends, I would get involved in heated matches of Capcom Vs SNK 2: Mark of the Millennium. A friend’s mastery of Blanka had me stumped for months until I discovered that Terry Bogard’s “Crack Shot” had priority over most of the green man’s deviously-fast rolls. For those interested, my team usually comprised of Ryu (Ratio 2), Rugal (Ratio 1) and Terry Bogard (Ratio 1). I also owned a Gamecube, which had Super Monkey Ball or its disappointing sequel loaded in the disc tray for the majority of the time. Save for some Mario-themed sports games, Resident Evil 4 and Metal Gear Solid: The Twin Snakes, pretty much all of the time spent with my favourite Nintendo console revolved around monkeys and the spherical prisons to which they were confined. 

 A tip of the cap and it's problem solved!

I’ve also invested a lot of money in portable gaming, with the aforementioned Game Gear, Game Boy Advance, PlayStation Portable, DS, and – more recently - the 3DS allowing me to game when I’m supposed to be engaged in social activities, studying or working. The Game Boy Advance SP easily ranks as my favourite, with a library of games punctuated with 1632-Bit classics. Fire Emblem, Pokemon Sapphire and Metroid Fusion each kept me from attaining those grades I was probably capable of at university.

Tune in for the next instalment of my Bitmography where I’ll discuss my experience with current generation hardware as well as the pitfalls of gaming in Australia.

Thanks for reading.

Return on Investment: Time and Loss in Dark Souls

Dark Souls is my first encounter with From Software's masochistic brand of Action RPG gameplay. I can see the elements that have made it a critical success, but I don't think it's for me; at least not based on the first few hours worth of frustration.

Why? Time is a finite resource, that's why. I can't get back the two hours and two thousand souls that I just lost to a dragon after finally besting the Taurus Demon. If I invest four hours in a game, I expect to have made four hours worth of progress: not a solid two hours of progress and then an hour and a half trying to consolidate the following thirty minutes' worth of work. Worse yet, what if you fail like I did? At least I made it to Lordran.

Three letter word: begins with R, ends with UN

I may have felt differently if the game held my hand just a little bit. In the opening zone, you are told the basics of combat through a series of text messages, but any abilities outside of attacking and blocking are left for later. The parry system: fair enough, not essential at start-up. Magic and miracles: maybe hit us with that knowledge sooner rather than later (read: I still don't know how to use either).

On the bright side, the punishing combat system is easy to pick up and - as you may have read from others - you only have yourself to blame for your mistakes. A few agonising input errors aside and slaying the undead hordes makes for some addicitive, though painstakingly-paced fun. I say that because if you rush in, you'll be dispatched faster than it will take to utter a four letter word. You have to bait your foes - one-by-one if possible if you want to survive. Your enemies will take every chance to ambush you and this is at times countered by cryptic messages left by other players. Some of the messages I've seen are plain nonsensical; sure, you only have preset phrases and text to choose from, but what does "Praise the sun" have to do with a fort filled to the brim with murderous skeleton warriors? Stuffed if I know, but when you read "Behind," you'll know your time is at an end.

It may be due to the lack of narrative pretense or perhaps the lack of gore, but I've felt nothing akin to dread in Dark Souls. I've felt acceptance and - at times - agony, but I know what my enemies are here to do. There's no conspiracy running parallel to my character's quest through Lordran, there's no grey area here: survival is the only objective.

Really? You have no interest in killing me? That's refreshing!

It works, but I don't have the time lose the amount of progress I've lost so far again... and again and again. Perhaps in contradiction to my previous statement, I'm opting to start again. I want that Master Key - I hate being taunted by locked doors - and I want a little bit more agility. If the new class and equipment strategy works out for me, maybe I will find the time.

Is anyone else toughing it out with Dark Souls? Any hints?

The Price of Gas

Sorry that things have been a little quiet recently over here on Unbearable Dutch. Both Dawson and I took a break so that I could recharge (and dedicate the appropriate amount of time to Gears of War 3) while my counterpart tends to his growing flock.

For our respective hordes!

Before I got to spend untold hours closing out one of my favourite franchises, I spent a week in Thailand; and my oh my was it an eye-opener. Whether it was the close proximity of excess and poverty, the scenery, the traffic, the food, the people or the bargains: Thailand - Bangkok specifically - had me on my toes.

When I say bargains, I'm not talking about pirated games either: I'm talking about legitimate retail releases. Don't get me wrong, if you find the IT mall, there are enough shops and stalls selling bootlegged copies of the latest releases on PC for less than 200 Thai Baht (about 6 Australian dollars); but when you see how much it costs to buy the genuine article, you may not think it's worth compromising your Steam account for cut-price games. The average cost of an authentic PC game is about 800 Baht (roughly $24). Some cost a lot more - it turns out that Call of Duty: Black Ops is expensive, regardless of region - but most are offered for about seventy percent less than they are in Australia. Console games are also cheaper in Thailand, but not by as much. Price, however, is not the sole contributor of the shopping experience.

That being said, PlayStation 3 games (I didn't pick up any Xbox 360 games in case they were region-locked) were on sale for roughly half the Australian recommended retail price. I bought several new releases (FIFA 12, El Shaddai: Ascension of the Metatron, God of War: Origins Collection and The Ico & Shadow of the Colossus Collection) and one relatively-recent release (Alice: Madness Returns) for just under 6000 Baht (about $200 AUD). Even by ozgameshop standards, that haul is pretty respectable. What made the above even better though, was the standard of service and the atmosphere found in some of these gaming retailers. Thai game retailers have comparatively smaller  shop spaces to work with, but they know their products, and they're not afraid for you to try them. I walked into one store where the proprietor booted up Dark Souls for a customer. The young man proceeded to play while I asked about the cost and the release date for the English Language version. I also enquired about several other titles and was told that "That has English voice-overs but the menus are in Japanese," and "Catherine's pretty popular here, we'll have some stock in soon." When money and product was exchanged, I was told "Thanks for your business. You can trade these in towards your next purchase if you'd like. See you soon." It was all so seamless.

I didn't hear lines like "Trade and save at Nadz," or "We buy your old games," as I made my through various games shops in the Digital Gateway mall. Customers could trial whatever games they wanted in some stores, and they knew the people behind the counter. I felt a sense of warmth in some of those shops that wasn't only due to my being in Bangkok (where it's really freaking hot.... everyday!). I should also clarify that Nadz was the name of one of the stores; I'm not taking the piss.

I promise you: THERE ARE GAMEZ IN THIS BAG!!!

Funny thing is, I haven't played a single game that I bought over there with the exception of a few heated exhibition matches in FIFA 12. I am engrossed in Gears 3, that's for sure.

I'd wager that Australian specialist games retailers could learn a lot from their Thai counterparts. More realistic prices would be great, but how about improving the quality of the shopping experience on the whole? Instead of the three-year old Guitar Hero setup in JB Hi-Fi, how about an open station where consumers can play whatever they're interested in? Instead of the push-inclined geekery from staff in Gametraders, how about some warmth, sincerity and some leave-me-the-fuck-alone? Instead of the apathetic, ignorant slogan slamming you get at EBGames, how about some product knowledge and some attention?

What have you been playing while I've been buying games in another country? Did you miss me?

Important, potentially heart-warming Dutch note: It is with great pleasure that I announce the arrival of my niece, Arabelle Johanna. Congratulations to Reuben and Danielle on a beautiful, healthy baby girl. Best wishes for the future, and you'd best believe I'll be the nerdy uncle that showers that kid in videogames and assorted geekery when she gets older. For now, she'll have to subsist on cuddles.

The Waiting Game

This week I planned to hammer on about the awesomeness of Gears of War 3 however I haven't been to play it yet.

Instead, I've been playing the waiting game with JB Hifi. You see I was given a voucher two months ago and I figured their online preorder option was a convenient service, with free delivery being a big bonus.

I figured wrong.

Six days after release I'm still sitting in anticipation next to the letterbox. I'm hoping it will come tomorrow. In the mean time I'm stuck with friends talking about it on Facebook as well as feeds from the official Xbox Facebook page and info and ads at almost every turn on the web.

Furthermore, when it was ordered back in July, I paid $99 for it. When it was released last week, the standard edition was priced at $69. JB are yet to get back to me about refunding the price difference. The site claims to refund any price difference however in my case it's not a straight reimbursement to a credit card as I used a voucher which I no longer have. I'm hoping there will be another voucher in the package on Monday...if it arrives then.

The reason I'm so skeptical about speedy delivery is because I ordered two cds at the same time as Gears, without knowing the preorder offer was shithouse. The first cd came two weeks after its release. Initially the order was lost then after a complaint it was found and sent. The other cd is due Monday. Let's see if they can get one out of three correct.

The thing that annoys me the most is that it's JB Hifi. If it were Big W or Wow Sight and Sound I wouldn't be so disappointed but because it's JB and I'm a huge advocate for the business, this experience is really making me dislike them. I don't understand how a prominent Australian company can't get their act together and ensure timely and reliable delivery. If each store is able to have their copies for sale by the release date, why can't preorders be filled on or a day after release? Why is it taking six days for a package to be sent from Melbourne to Brisbane?

Anyway I've learnt my lesson and will now only purchase in store. Has anyone else had a poor preorder experience?

The Bias Corner: Mass Effect

Welcome to the first of two super editions of the Bias Corner.

I would like to start by introducing myself to the uninitiated: I am Dutch’s brother, Victor. I have generally similar opinions to Dutch, but on some key titles we differ greatly. For example Mass Effect 2. When Dutch first mentioned Mass Effect 2 on this blog, it was listed as one of the biggest disappointments of 2010 along with Dead Rising 2. Now I’m not saying Dead Rising 2 was the best game of 2010, but it was enjoyable. I am however saying that Mass Effect 2 is the first game that I'd call "Game of the Year," for two years in a row (remember that the PS3 version was released this year).

I have completed Mass Effect and its sequel (now to be referred as ME & ME2) 36 times in total. I own this game on all possible systems – yes, even though I do not own a rig capable of playing PC games - I do own them on PC. The sheer amount of times I have completed these two titles is a testament to their greatness. ME captured audiences with a new space opera to rival already established IP’s like Star Wars and Star Trek. The game did not only create a character that you could mould with good, bad or neutral decisions, but gave you a cast of NPCs to care about. Paramount to this, it gave us a universe to learn about and shape with your decisions.

I’ve invested (this is an estimate) 900 hours in the ME universe. That’s 37 and a half days, 54,000 minutes, 3,240,000 seconds I've thrown into this game; hell, it nearly cost me my marriage. That doesn’t even include ME: Galaxy (the underrated iOS game), three novels and two comic book series that I have also played and read. And how could I forget my Bioware limited edition N7 commander Shepard hoodie? Do we see where I’m heading here?........Obsession!

I don’t want to write a review that rivals the script for both games in terms of length; I just want everyone to go out there and buy this game so that they can experience the rich lore and solid gameplay for themselves. You can pick up both titles for a combined price of $28 at EB (on the 360). I've decided to jump into this space because I believe that reviewers - including Dutch - won’t enjoy games how you enjoy games. As an example, Viking: Battle for Asgard: the game has a metarating of 68, but it is super enjoyable. Dutch gave Mass Effect 2 8.5/10. That figure does no justice to Bioware's masterpiece! No matter what is said about this franchise, I will continue to invest my time and money (here’s looking at you, Mass Effect 3 N7 Collector’s Edition for $129 each on both console platforms) into it; and I think as a service to yourselves, you should too.

Jetpack Joyride Review (iOS): A dangerous, well-oiled machine

Brisbane-based developer Halfbrick Studios have a reputation for creating addictive, if not shallow, gaming experiences for smartphones and tablet devices. Fruit Ninja has already stolen hours from me already, and the Kinect-controlled port also gifted me with a surprise back injury. Age of Zombies was easily the best PlayStation Mini that I've ever played and looks wonderful when blown-up on an iPad. That game's protagonist, Barry Steakfries makes his return in Jetpack Joyride; which abandons the gratuitous Simpsons quotes in favour of the developer's own brand of machine gun-themed slapstick humour. Are Halfbrick's comic chops enough to literally carry Steakfries' latest adventure?

The Good

Just one more - Jetpack Joyride is score attack gaming at its finest. There's no pretence or story holding players back from the action. Simply touch the screen and Barry breaks through a laboratory wall to steal away to - what hopefully is - a new high score. Your score is measured in metres travelled, but there are other peripheral indicators of success. You can collect coins to unlock cosmetic upgrades and single-use power-ups, and you're also issued with sets of three "missions" which task you with anything from high fiving scientists to travelling a certain distance with any of the game's six vehicles. You may be confined to a singular, oft-recycled environment, but you'll often go back for "just one more" attempt.

Violent, vehicular whimsy - As you're avoiding obstacles in the titular jetpack - or any of the aforementioned vehicles - I'd challenge you to do so without a sadistic grin on your face. Raining bullets on hapless scientists, trampling them with the Lil' Stomper, or burning them with Mr Cuddles (a robotic dragon) is nothing short of a responsive joy. The retro-flavoured visuals were also cause for delight and - despite the lack of variety - only added to the game's charm. 

Deeper than your dollar's worth - Jetpack Joyride costs less than a dollar, and the many variables presented in any given playthrough is sure to give you more enjoyment than you deserve; given the asking price. The "Final Spin" also adds value to your current run or sets you up for the next one, with the macabre slot machine offering the ability (luck and spin tokens permitting) to be revived, earn extra coins, or cause a blast of varying intensity to carry your corpse a little bit further (thus adding to your score). When you run out of Spin Tokens and you're life comes to an end, you're presented with a happy snap from your latest adventure and statistics - both run-specific and lifetime - to chart your performance. There's also leaderboards for you to compare scores amongst friends and the community at large. That's a respectable amount of content and functionality given the asking price.

The Bad

Wretched score - The singular piece of original music in Jetpack Joyride is more exhausting than elevator music and doesn't really match the black comic sensibility of the action on screen. This can be made a null point by simply playing your own music while running the game, but still, fairly underwhelming considering the addictive qualities of the play and presentation.

The Ugly

Coursework - While the obstacle course you face on each attempt is dynamic, the lab facility motif is a constant, and I imagine that could grow tiresome in time. There is the potential for the developer to add new settings in the future, but you'll need to be happy with the subterranean lair for now.  

Get used to seeing the lab... a lot

The Verdict

Jetpack Joyride is another strong effort from Halfbrick, and even if you aren't sucked in by the addictive action and charming visuals, it costs less than a buck. Give it a go, people!