Dad

Dad used to play games before children arrived

Dad beat the high score on Frogger

Dad had his score wiped by the first, crawling

Dad drank a carton to quell his frustration

Dad doesn't game anymore

Dad raised three boys

Dad was asked by the eldest to stop smoking

Dad didn't think to ween himself off nicotine

Dad was all willpower

Dad quit cold turkey

Dad wanted a staircase

Dad asked his boys for help

Dad offered nothing more in return

Dad would wait years to reach the bottom floor

Dad was patient

Dad worked from dawn

Dad did not observe public holidays

Dad had trouble sleeping

Dad always answered his phone

Dad provided for all but himself

Dad drove his sons to work

Dad asked for nothing in return

Dad advised his sons to "Get a license."

Dad ran a taxi service

Dad never got paid his due

Dad received his diagnosis

Dad kept working

Dad fought with his hands

Dad could no longer trust his body

Dad started slipping away

Dad missed his boys

Dad waited for them to return

Dad would remember loose dates as promises

Dad wants nothing more

Dad is still waiting

Dad left the country

Dad forgot his friends and family

Dad forgot who he was

Dad pissed his pants

Dad was so ashamed

Dad fought for his life

Dad was never threatened

Dad tried to make his escape

Dad was surrounded

Dad is alone

To end

I've never felt the urge to end
I never hope to
I feel for those that do

To have death as an option
As an alternative
Sometimes you just need to rest

To know you'll never wake again
Never feel that tightness
No more anxiety, no more emptiness

A charming prospect, I'm sure
But please, don't leave
We need you

I need you
I'll miss you
I love you

Friendly Fire: A Hearthstone Adventure

We ate lunch with my folks
We drank beer
I don't drink beer

Ideology, faith and family
Never a good mix
Pick one, discard the rest

We could've sat in silence
Instead we engaged
Battled hate speech with humanity

You sometimes fight
Even though you might not believe, at least not as strongly
Fascinating, if not admirable

You can't play a card you've not been dealt
Yet somehow, you did. You always do
Rebel Nerd

Deus Ex: Human Revolution - Director's Cut (Wii U) Review Notes

I reviewed Deus Ex: Human Revolution in 2011. A lot of my observations still hold true, but I thought I'd summarize what the Wii U version of the Director's Cut brings to the table:

• The Missing Link DLC is entirely disposable from both plot and play perspectives. I understand why the developers chose to limit the use of augmentations, because as an additional opportunity to earn experience, the odds would be stacked squarely in the player's favour. Still, it feels somewhat cheap to be limited in what are relatively difficult combat scenarios. There's a lot more trial and error at play in this new segment, but in the end it still contains the same elements that made the core game so special. 
• I found side missions and areas that I failed to notice in 1.5 subsequent playthroughs of the core game. 
• Thanks to the experience I earned playing through the Missing Link and through finding additional missions and interactions, I unlocked every augmentation that I wanted to use... and started unlocking upgrades that I wouldn't even think to use. 
• Deus Ex: Human Revolution is looking more and more awkward and robotic as time progresses. 
• Off TV support is fantastic: touch controls for menus, keypads, screens and keyboards are super responsive. The only complaint I have is that everything looks a little washed out.  
• The Wii U Gamepad is a perfect, awkward match for Human Revolution. 

I picked up Deus Ex: Human Revolution - Director's Cut for just under 20 bucks at EBGames. Well worth the cost of admission in my eyes. Even with the damage done by Father Time, this is still a compelling story that feels better with a Gamepad in your hands. 

Destiny Beta Impressions (PS4): No surprises

Until this past Wednesday morning, I hadn't shown any interest in Destiny. Bungie's much anticipated and more hyped MMO/FPS hybrid looked pretty, but it also looked hollow. I couldn't see any personality hidden behind the armoured Guardians that populated almost every screenshot. Even Master Chief looked to have more going on up top than any of the colourful avatars that were locked in battle with what I now know to be The Fallen, and truth be told, I've no love John-117 or whatever the hell you want to call him. Give me Noble Team or the ODST squad anyday.

The buzz surrounding the beta that runs from 17 July through to 26 July hit fever pitch on Twitter, however, and I'll jump at pretty much any chance to board a speeding Hype Train. Whether it's packed with well-dressed peeps who've nothing to say or teeming with loveable rogues, it makes no difference. HYPE TRAIN A COMIN', BABY! TOOT TOOT!

I wasn't willing to pay for a ticket and thankfully, the Twittersphere was raining beta codes for those looking out for them. A generous follower came through for me and assured that he had all platforms covered; no need to pre-order.

The download took about 12 hours all up and I wasn't really in any condition to start playing last night when it was ready. Thankfully (?), an intense fit of coughing had me up at 4 this morning, so what better time would there be to start an intergalactic adventure?

As I made my Mark Hamill circa 1980 avatar complete with Ultimate Warrior eye makeup, I reflected again on why, until days ago, Destiny hadn't really illicited anything other than a hearty shrug from me since the big reveal towards the end of 2012. I think by conflating MMO with FPS, Borderlands was immediately brought to mind. I don't hate Borderlands or its sequel, but there's a litany of better shooters on the market. Gearbox's series looks fantastic and plays pretty well, but it's paced in such a painstakingly slow manner. Even with a deadeye and an itchy trigger finger, if you see that skull indicator next to your target's health bar, you're not going anywhere (other than into a body bag). I made the assumption that Destiny would conform to the following mathematical formula:

Destiny = (Halo X Borderlands) - humour + pretty graphics

I was right. Well, just to be clear, when I include "humour" in the function above, I think that Gearbox (and, to be fair, a lot of the series' fans) are of the opinion that Claptrap and co. are funny. I'm more of the opinion that the games have a "sense of humour", but rarely approach anything remotely humorous. I guess what I'm trying to say is, Destiny is pretty dry.

Be it your Ghost companion or any number of high and mighty merchants and guild (?) reps, no one is in it for the laffs. That's not a game breaker and that's not to say that every game I play is 100% comedy gold, it's more that I can't imagine investing a significant amount of time in a game, MMO or otherwise, that doesn't connect with me. Humour is one way to pull me in, but a compelling narrative and/or memorable characters work just as well.

Destiny ain't got none of that.

What it does have though is a powerful orchestral soundtrack that creates more atmosphere and feeling than anything else I've seen in my time with the game so far. It speaks to me more directly than the haughty script and does a great job of creating genuine tension when you're exploring some of the darker parts of Earth post galactic expansion (and potentially, apocalypse). Kotaku's Kirk Hamilton looks at it in greater depth, but I reckon this might just be the element that hooks me in to the finished product.

Combat and movement have that distinct Bungie flavour: floaty jumping, competent driving and lots of circle strafing characterise the majority of your time in conflict. If you've played any game in the Halo series, you're going to feel right at home here; moreso if you've had a crack at Borderlands as well. The pace, in terms of character progression, feels similar to Borderlands; although I must say that I hope it doesn't slow down much more in the final version. Well, not until the end game at least. There doesn't appear to be any element of choice in terms of skill trees like there is in Borderlands, other than the ability to switch Sub Classes once you've unlocked them. Abilities are unlocked in a predominantly linear fashion, and it works well enough.

I reached the level cap with my Warlock character and am still yet to sample each of the game/match types available in the beta. Story missions work just as you'd imagine: progress from Point A to Point B, defeat waves of enemies, listen to expository dialogue, repeat. It felt a little disjointed seeing several other players completing the same objective that I was on without directly impacting on my progress. Kills by non-party members still added to my experience point tally, but they couldn't progress me to the next objective and vice versa. It's co-op but not really.

The Explore mission I played didn't seem to end. More sub missions kept popping up to the point where I went from level 6 through to 8 (the current cap) on the same map. Enemies varied in level depending on my location, meaning that a greater challenge was almost always around the corner. Literally. This mission type didn't work particularly well unless a Public Event was on. The time-limited missions turned a listless wander through a wasteland into a multiplayer free-for-all. The most enjoyable event I took part in tasked me and whoever else was around with taking down a Devil Walker (or spider tank). A tense 5 minutes awaits you in that instance, rest-assured.

The Crucible, Destiny's Player versus Player component is also playable in the beta. I've only trialed the Control match type (think Domination from the Call of Duty games), but I'm pleased to say it handles just as it should (read: it's freaking Halo). There didn't appear to be any issues with balance, even with variance in player levels. The only thing I can foresee being tweaked is the use of the Super ability. After completing enough objectives / scoring kills you'll get access to the same "Super Charged" attack you'd use when playing solo. It's ridiculously powerful and it's great fun when you're the one firing, but as someone who lost a pretty impressive kill streak to this one-handed Hadouken, it can feel like a cheap note to end on.

Destiny hasn't provided anything in the way of surprises, but that hasn't turned out to be a bad thing. I'm chomping at the bit for more and have just started up my next character with a new class. It looks beautiful and it handles well, but was there any doubt that Bungie wouldn't deliver on these fronts? What I'm more worried about is the hook. What is it that's going to keep me playing? From my time with the beta trial, I'm guessing it's not going to be the story or the characters. A beautiful score might be enough to get me started, but I doubt it'll have me investing anywhere near as much time in it as a World of Warcraft enthusiast has in Azeroth's varied locales. Maybe there's a few surprises in store. Then again, maybe not.

A New Error

(Image source: http://www.artofthetitle.com/title/deus-ex-human-revolution/)

People respond to pain in different ways.

Some drink it away. Some lash out, hurting the ones they love or people that only want to help. I retreat. I retreat and surround myself with anything that could possibly illicit feelings of nostalgia. The familiar brings the pain to the surface and usually ends in a few fits of good, hard sobbing. After this I usually feel better, or better enough.

The last few weeks have been pretty bloody painful. After returning from 5 weeks in Europe, the best 5 weeks of my life, I got back to some pretty hard truths. I quarreled with people I love. I lost a lot of sleep. I still don't know if my dad will get better. I feel useless.

Cue video games. Cue games like Deus Ex: Human Revolution that empower you with superhuman abilities whilst also forcing you to reflect on the frailty of our bodies and the notion of what it is to be human.

I hadn't played Human Revolution since I started my second, ultimately futile ghost run (read: finish the game without being seen) on the highest difficulty in the dying days of 2011. I've since traded up to the Director's Cut version and am now playing on the Wii U. Off TV play has allowed for me to steal a few hours before bed and Carly's renewed hunger for real estate reality shows hasn't slowed my progress either.

The striking use of yellow remains my favourite element of the game's visual design. Whether it's the golden highlight of all items that can be interacted with or spaces like The Hive, there's a sleazy warmth to Detroit and Hengsha. The locations need to emanate this lived-in feeling as most of the NPCs look as though they're ill-handled marionettes.

Despite some truly awkward character animation that looks even worse with age, the costume design still holds up. The impossible prismatic design of David Sarif's vest, the beautiful embellishment on the shoulders of Jensen's trench coat, the Victorian necklines of Megan's jacket: there is so much drama in the clothes each character wears.

The gunplay is still woeful, but the loading up with powerful and visually-stunning abilities more than makes up for this shortcoming. There's nothing quite as satisfying as sneaking away from enemy pursuit fully cloaked, or busting through a brick wall and snapping the neck of the poor schmuck on the other side.

Best of all, still, is Elias Toufexis growling voicework. As Adam Jensen, he manages to sound three parts dreamy lead and one part Batman. He is as instantly likeable now as he was back in 2011. For the last few days it's been like hanging out with an old, heavily-augmented friend. I don't feel great right now, but Deus Ex: Human Revolution has provided that little pang of nostalgia that I needed to start feeling better.

Easy on the eyes: Wii U impressions

This past week, all I wanted to do was play some video games on my relatively large screen TV. Suffering from jet lag and a vicious chest infection, there was no way I was going to be up to the standard required to shoot faces online, or even be able to concentrate on linear, narrative fare like Transistor, Supergiant Games' follow up to one of my all-time favourites, Bastion. For most of the week, the best I could manage was one or two levels of Donkey Kong Returns 3D on my 3DS.  

The only way I could hope to get any console gaming done during my convalescence was with a smaller, more eye-friendly screen. With the release of Mario Kart 8, perhaps now was finally the time to consider a Wii U.  

On Thursday, retailer Big W commenced its Total Toy Domination sale. Games were not spared from this promotion, and the Premium Wii U console bundle with Mario Kart 8 was being sold at a considerable discount. First party Nintendo titles, usually sold at a premium years after release, were also going for a song (plus $58). I did what any sick, tired nerd would do and asked my beloved wife, Carly if she would mind going toe-to-toe with parents looking to save a buck in order to retrieve the last piece of machinery I would need to complete the next-gen (now current-gen) console Holy Trinity. 

As Carly was suiting-up in her finest armour, an anomaly occurred. I was browsing online and found that rival, K Mart was selling the Basic Wii U console with 2 games for less than half the price Big W were asking for the Premium counterpart. I had some thinking to do: both versions had meager hard drive capacities (8gb in the Basic, 32gb in the Premium), and the Premium machine came with additional pieces of plastic, a Wii sensor bar and a game I actually wanted to play. 

I already had a Wii sensor bar, and upon further reading, I found that the hard drive capacity issue was moot as I had a self-powered external hard drive spare. Carly's mission had changed somewhat: she would still need to wander into the Big W battlefield, but only after having retrieved the Basic console from a hopefully-quieter K Mart.  

Thursday morning went as close to plan as I could have hoped. I had a cheap Wii U (our local K Mart store had divined that only 1 was required for the entire sale period) and Big W had stock of most of the first party games I was looking for; including Mario Kart 8, the whole reason for this impulsive endeavour. For a console and 6 games, I'd pay less than I would have for the Premium bundle: a solid score. 

The Wii U takes just as long to set up as its more powerful competitors. Thankfully, Nintendo have included the penultimate firmware update on the Mario Kart 8 disc, so I only needed to download a small file to keep proceedings on track. After about 3 hours, the console was finally ready for use: plenty of time to accommodate an unintended spell of unconsciousness.

Apart from a few kart races this weekend, I've spent most of my time playing on a screen exponentially smaller than my 47 inch TV screen. It's been spectacular. 

The Wii U gamepad is somewhat more awkward to wield than your DualShocks and Xbox (both One and 360) controllers, but off TV support is going to trump ergonomics every day of the week. Off TV play is the kind of thing that strengthens relationships; it could even potentially save some. What do I mean? Allow me to set the scene. 

My wife loves sports. She loves Rugby League and Tennis, but worse, she's drawn to events like the Olympics that are scheduled from dawn to dusk for weeks at a time. I am a nerd. The sports I enjoy watching are either covered ineffectively by Australian broadcasters (read: Basketball) or viewed for primarily sentimental reasons (Dutch World Cup campaigns) and everything else I merely tolerate. With the Wii U, I can now skip Monday Night Football and keep plugging away at 150cc races in Mario Kart 8. Thanks to off TV play, I can play Game Boy Advance classics while Carly watches Wimbledon. It's not like we argued over who got to use the TV previously, but now it's a non-issue. We can both enjoy all that we love without (much) compromise. 

I had my first experience with off TV support last year with the PlayStation 4, but the Vita's clusterfuck of touch controls and 6 buttons wasn't a great fit with your average AAA blockbuster. I could get through FPS campaigns with a bit of patience, but Sony handheld's sub par shoulder buttons never held up well against human competition. The Wii U gamepad feels like far less a compromise when it comes to off TV play. 

I'm yet to test the Wii interface which allows for backwards compatibility, save for ability to play Gamecube games. This is a true shame and it's not helped by the fact that the process to transfer your Wii saves and purchases appears too laborious to even consider. Still, good to know that I'll be able to play Wonder Boy III and Majora's Mask at some point should the urge consume me.   

The Wii U iteration of the eShop is well presented but it's hampered by less than optimal load times. Pricing for Virtual Console titles is consistent with the 3DS and Wii (read: just a smidge too high), but the range is pretty great. I couldn't resist picking up Advance Wars, Super Mario World and one of the few Zelda games I enjoyed, A Link to the Past. There's no support for the Nintendo 64 as yet, nor the Segas Master System or Mega Drive. It was pleasing to see that Dr Kawashima's Brain Training was available for free. Not only because I played it regularly back in the day, but also because it foreshadows that more DS games will be available in the near future. 

Download speeds appear to be on par with competitor consoles, and Spotpass functionality downloads demos and other free titles to your console if you opt in. Speaking of demos, there are only 14 demos available for download from the eShop; talk about a dying breed. 

2 years on and the Wii U looks to be a prime acquisition, particularly if you can find one cheap. Off TV support is the future of gaming for the average gamer that is now over 30 and, for some, sharing a TV with one of more people. The eShop can take its sweet time to load, but the solid offering of past classics will be sure to suckle the contents of your wallet. It's only been 4 days, but I can see myself becoming unwholesomely attached to the white, Nintendo-branded hunks of plastic now occupying my living room.