Monday, April 18

Not in the face - The Gears of War 3 Beta Protection Prayer

May my controller keep me safe from harm
And obey my every input
Take cover when required
Keep my aim lethal and true
True enough at least to score an assist

When the servers go live tonight
May they be free from lag, matchmaking swiftly
Please select for me opponents of skill
Yet not skilled enough to damn me
To the bottom of the scoreboard

Speaking of scoreboards
May that found in Thrashball
Remain fixed atop the field
If it must fall, then fall it should
Crushing my enemies and sparing me

Grant me the time
To play enough matches to unlock
Worthless cosmetic accessories
When the full game comes
I wish to own (or more likely, be owned) while looking my finest

May the new weapons
The digger launcher, one-shot and sawed-off shotty
Make their way to me often
Have me beat the rush
Or at the very least, survive it

Most important of all
If my opponents come to acquire
The accurate weapons they desire
Then I will fall with grace
Just be cool guys, not in the face


  1. Never having owned an xbox I never got into gears of war. But you were a massive fan weren't you? I have seen a fair few videos of it now and it looks pretty cool. Not cool enough to make me want to buy an xbox.

  2. The first Gears of War was my Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2. Whenever I used to get home from working at the Hyperhole, I'd boot up GoW and play til 3 in the morning. Gears of War is one of the best games released in the last 10 years, no question.

  3. Big call my son. MW2 wasn't good, I would prefer to play COD4 still (even with BO out), but since it is ridiculously hard to get a good connection now, it seems the COD4 journey has come to an end, unless I pick up a good PC to play on.

    Then COD4 will be revived!!!!

  4. Gears is, for lack of a better term, the balls. I agree with Dutch - it's a phenominal game and definitely one of the best releases in the last decade. I played it solidly when I first bought my xbox, choosing to come back to it over other new games, and have used it as a standard for any first person shooter.

    GoW2 was much easier and repetitive than the first and I'm hoping GoW3 isn't as simple. Thankfully, apart from the delayed release date, all I've heard are good things. I guess we'll just have to wait and see.

  5. Sambo - I more meant the comparison to be in terms of play time. I'd be well short of your MW2 mark, but in the context of how long I spend with a game it would be comparable.
    TJ - Agreed, GoW2 was too easy, plus the matchmaking issues were unbearable.

  6. Fairs enough dude. Also I have gone back to play a few games of FFA in mw2. It is awesome owning douche kids with a snippy rifle. Went 30-0 the other day using a sniper rifle with mo air support kills. It was a nice feeling.

    However upon watching GoW3 beta videos I do admit it looks the balls. However I have no doubt I would get owned hardcore in it!

  7. Had a quick go last night and I was very impressed. Matchmaking was a little painful, but the actual connection quality in-game was unrivalled. Plus the new Retro Lancer = best gun ever!

  8. I have heard the retro lancer feeds the dick to enemy players. Also, I am seriously considering picking up a good PC so I can play BF3 and COD4 on it. Although I will probably pick up BF3 on PS3 as well.

  9. If that means it's good, then yes, it feeds the dick to enemy players.

    If I could afford a malevolent rig, I would totally get one. Mainly because games are so ridiculously cheap on PC with services like Steam and Direct2Drive.

    My current laptop is pretty good, can play most games at mid to mid-high settings with a decent frame-rate. Can even play Just Cause 2 at with mid-range settings, which looks better than the PS3 version.

  10. I am considering getting Mick (the bro-in-law) to get one built for me. He got his built, and it is ridiculous good (12gb of ram for example) for $1200, so I think that it is a worthwhile investment for me, considering how much I love cod4.

    Also, BF will be ultimate on PC! ULTIMATE!

  11. 64 players, no argument here.

  12. All I have to do now is convince Lisa that we need to get an awesome PC. I am pretty sure I can swing this one. I charisma coming out of my every pore!

  13. You is charisma alright lolollololol

  14. God damn it! Damn trying to type quickly!