Saturday, August 13

The Cheevos of Life


There must have been something very good in the water in November/December with a number of people I know either expecting children of their own or becoming an uncle or aunty for the first time.

Personally, I’m expecting my second child in September and I believe Dutch has just become an uncle (or it’s very imminent). When I found out about Dutch, I suggested he come over and learn how to change a nappy, just so he could seem like the uber cool brother who already knew what he was doing, despite not having kids (and without appearing like some kind of child offender…). In true Dutch style, his reply was, “Only if I can earn Cheevos”.

This got me thinking – if life were a game, what would you earn achievements for and what would they be worth?

Games like Guitar Hero reward you for failures (and epic failures at that), while Duke Nukem Forever rewards you for finding a poo, picking it up and throwing it. You don’t get much for these actions but I suspect if it were to happen in the real world you wouldn’t receive much praise either.


PGR4, Burnout and Need For Speed reward you for traveling at high speed and driving dangerously, whether it be a part of the game or an actual XBLA/PSN achievement. Last time I checked, those little yellow pieces of paper from QLD Police, stern conversations from the man in blue starting with "Get off the bike we'll be here for a while" or the photo of your car going sideways through an intersection aren’t achievements. There are points involved but they decrease on your license and make you take the bus to work.

When it comes to families and having kids, game oriented couples should definitely implement a cheevo system, especially if the man of the house would rather play games than wipe a smelly bum.

The content is the same, only the packaging differs...

You could earn points for most consecutive nappy changes, biggest ‘disposal’ of the week or even most times spewed on after a feed with bonus points given if it’s a midnight feed or just before you’re going to work (and therefore need to find a new shirt and iron it before going to work because the same thing happened last week but on a smaller scale and you didn’t notice until lunchtime but wondered what the smell was). Negative cheevos are given if you go to work with spew still on you.

What do you think? Can cheevo’s translate into the real world? What are the points worth and what should you get once you hit a milestone?

1 comment:

  1. Still a few weeks away, but very much looking forward to it. Become an uncle - 20G

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