2007
was a difficult year for me. With my longtime girlfriend moving to another
city, a dead-end job, and my final year of university study still in hand, I
was lost in the throes of alcoholism.
It
may sound far-fetched, but a game helped me renew my focus and get out of that
final year rut. I've played that game more than any other on this generation of
hardware. That game is Gears of War.
Gears of War saw release
at the end of 2006, but I didn't really get absorbed in the competitive
multiplayer suite until the following year. I played through the campaign by
myself and with the help of my brother, but didn't have the confidence to
venture online. A lack of disposable income (eaten up by the drink and public
transportation costs) soon meant that I had to squeeze the most out of every
game, so ready or not, I took my fight to the world.
My
first memories of the competitive space were not pleasant ones. Verbal tirades
from my teammates, low scores, and abusive direct messages were my only rewards
for showing some courage. I also lost my head a lot, as my opponents were often
skilled with the Longshot: the game's fearsome iteration of the the sniper
rifle. Whenever I saw the icon in the bottom corner of my screen that indicated
that an enemy had that gun, I hid away from
its harmful payload. Still, I couldn't manage my anxiety when I was one
of the few left alive, so I often emerged from my false sanctuaries to have my
head taken away from me. I was a jittery mess at the best and worst of times.
To
calm my nerves, I played through the campaign again. I began to identify with
the sullen, though foul-mouthed members of Delta Squad. I started exercising,
and even bulked up a bit... not to Marcus Fenix proportions, mind you; but big
enough to gain a little bit of confidence. Defeating General RAAM for the third
time gave me the strength I needed to return to the online melee.
My
regimen began to take shape: mornings consisted of study and exercise, evenings
had me at work and then online upon my return. I hardly slept, but I wasn't
drinking half as much as I used to. My experiences on the battlefield didn't
detract from my grades either. My Grade Point Average benefitted significantly
from my battle against the Locust Horde.
With
the realisation that in six months I'd have two degrees under my belt, my focus
became even sharper. I dropped drinking during the week, and when I had the
weekend with my girlfriend, I even managed to avoid it on some weekends as
well. Sometimes Carly came to visit me, and fell asleep at my side as I blasted
my way up the leaderboards. She knew what it meant to me, and I never heard her
complain that I spent too much time playing. That being said, I may have
overdone it a little.
Those
weapon-specific achievements that at first seemed unattainable started popping
up during matches. I even managed to net one hundred kills with the
Longshot. Me! The guy who for the better
part of the year, had no head to speak of! 2007 was starting to come around.
That's more like it!
Saving
all that money from not drinking also helped me experience other great releases
like Halo 3, Call of Duty: Modern Warfare, and The Orange Box. I still returned to Gears at night, however. It was my alcohol patch: it concentrated
all of that negative energy and sent if flying from the barrel of my lancer.
I
survived shift after shift of corrosive chemicals, apathetic customers, and
worries of love and study, only to return to the fray. My wonderfully-rendered,
violent sanctuary would call to me as I cleaned ovens and meat slicers. I could
now see the light at the end of the tunnel, and knew that my days working in my
oppressively-dull job were numbered; thanks in part to Gears.
In
the last months of 2007, I finished study (once again with grades far higher
than I was used to), and quit my job at the supermarket. I made plans to move
in with my sweetheart. My life finally started to "happen". I still
played Gears.
I may be underselling the
contribution of my then-girlfriend-now-wife, but Gears of War saved me from the brink of alcohol-fueled despair.
I've now been married to Carly for just over a year, and I've thoroughly
enjoyed every installment of the Gears saga.
Has a game helped you out of a rut
before? What game from this generation have you played more than any other? Merry Christmas, by the way!
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